Imperfect Harmony: JATP ~Charlie Gillespie~

~Nine~

TW: anxiety 

We walk in awkward silence up the trail. I crack my knuckles three times and look up at the beautiful trees. 

"Are you nervous?" Charlie asks me.

I look over at him, "Huh?"

He points to my hands, "Whenever you are nervous, you crack your knuckles three times."

I just stare at him for a second, unsure how he knows this detail about me. "I don't crack my knuckles when I'm nervous."

Charlie grins, "Yes, you do. It was the worst whenever you found out you were going to be on screen. I thought your knuckles were going to fall off." 

I roll my eyes and keep walking. "So, why are you nervous?" Charlie asks. 

"I don't know, I just feel like we have been kind of off lately." I say, looking straight ahead. 

"Yeah, things have been kind of weird. But, I hope this can help us go back to normal." Charlie says. 

I nod, "Yeah, I just want to go back to being friends."

We spend the next couple of hours hiking and just enjoying each others company. We take a break on a giant rock for a while eating lunch. I close my eyes and soak in the sun light. When I open my eyes again, I see Charlie staring at me with a smile. 

"What, weirdo?" I ask, giving him a questioning look. 

Charlie smiles and moves closer to me. I laugh nervously and watch his eyes flicker from mine to my lips. My heart beats loudly in my chest as his hand wraps around my face. "Hi."

Before I can respond, he gently pushes his lips to mine, making my stomach to gymnastics. I surrender for a second, relaxing and finally feeling happy. Until I remember that he is with Tori. The dirty cheater. 

I break away and quickly get up, looking everywhere but at him. "I'm going to head back down." I practically run away from him and back down to car. He calls after me and tries to catch up, but I never give him the chance. 

I sit on the hood of the car as I wait for him to unlock it and then climb in right away. "Kaya, can we talk?" Charlie asks as he drives. 

I shake my head, "Nope, no um, I am just going to stare out the window for the next seven minutes."

"Kaya, I-" Charlie starts but I cut him off. 

"LALALLALLALA." I sing, staring out the window.  Charlie gives me an annoyed look, but I don't care. I just need to get out of this car. 

He parks in front of my apartment complex and I hop out of the car, "Had a great time, thanks bye." I yell as I run away. 

As soon as I close the door behind me, I lay on the ground. I just feel so confused and drained. Why did he kiss me if he is with Tori? Why now? 

I don't have the energy to over analyze the situation right now. I stand up and get ready for bed, feeling numb. I try to sleep, but I can a panic attack on the horizon. Whenever I get really stressed out, I give myself a panic attack. 

I climb out of bed and begin pacing across my room, "What color your nails are. If you single or double knot your shoes in the morning. If you carry a hair tie on your wrist everyday." I whisper things I can control to myself, hoping this will calm me down. 

This however doesn't really work, so I do something I don't normally ever do. I call a friend. Usually, when I deal with my mental health, I won't call anyone or even tell anyone what I am going through. I pick up my phone and try to steady my shaking hands. 

"Hey, um can you come over? I know its really late, but I-I just need you to come over." I say into my phone. 

"Yeah, sure. Give me five minutes." I hang up the phone and continue pacing. After a couple of minutes, I begin to feel like I'm having a heart attack so I rest my knees against my chest and my forehead on the floor. 

I hear someone knock at the door, but I can't move. The knocking continues for a minute, but then stops when I hear the door open. Two arms wrap around me and pick me up, gently setting me on the bed. 

He doesn't say anything, he just keeps me comforted in his arms. Eventually, I calm down and fall asleep. 

The sunlight shinning on my face causes me to wake up. I sit up and look over at Owen laying asleep next to me. "Owen." I say in a sing song voice. 

He slowly opens his eyes and smiles at me. "Hey, you okay?" He asks as he sits up. 

I nod, "Yeah. Thanks for coming over last night. I don't mean to be a bother."

Owen tucks my hair behind my ear, "You could never bother me."

Author's Note: This chapter is kind of short, but I am living for the tea. The next updates might be slower because I think I have covid so I'm really tired and its hard to write. Please vote and comment!