The Twins // 5sos

1.7 Hard

Zoe's Point of View

I hear her footsteps behind me as we walked towards the hotels lounge.

"Zoe." She says as she sits down in front of me, part of me knew it was selfish of me to expect her to explain on her wedding day but the other part of me needed to know.

"Explain." I say shortly.

"I was 28 and I panicked. You and Alana, you were such bright girls and we were just scrapping by as it was. I knew you both wanted to go to college, I got scared. It's pathetic but I got truly scared. Your father was a 29 year old acting like a 5 year old, I swear sometimes you and Alana acted older than he did. I couldn't handle the pressure." She began, she took a deep breath and looked at me,

"When I was younger I suffered a lot, with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, everything Zoe. The longer I stayed with your father the worst they got and the harder they came back." She says.

"Oh my God." I say putting my head in my hands.

"Zoe, you have to understand."

"The nurse, she asked." I say muttering to myself.

"The nurse? Zoe?"

"She asked if anyone in my family had anxiety and it's you! I get it from you!" I cry, her eyes widened as she ran over to me and pulled me into hug.

"Zoe, Zoe darling please stop crying. It's okay, it's manageable."

"I don't want it to be manageable! I don't want it!" I shout. She holds me in her arms as she rocked me back and forth.

"Wait I have make-up on, it will stain your dress." I say pulling away and wiping the makeup off of her shoulder.

"It didn't stain." She laughs.

"Mum, I'm scared." I whisper, her eyes widened before she put my hands in hers.

"Why are you scared?" She whispers.

"Because I don't know what to do with my life."

"That's okay, Zoe you're 18."

"I'm doing a creative writing course and the teacher tells me I'm really good but I don't know if it's what I want to do. I don't want to let anyone down, not you, not Dad, not Alana, not Luke, anyone."

"You'll never let anyone down!"

"I will mum, I will!" I shout wiping my eyes.

"Zoe, baby, seeing you behind those white doors made my heart swell with pride. You'll never let me down, I love you and you are apart of me. Alana included."

"I had a breakdown when I saw your invite." I tell her truthfully.

"You did?"

"I was angry because it was our first contact in 10 years and it was to see you marry another man."

"I tried honey, but every time I dialed the house phone I panicked and slammed it down." She says moving some hair out of my face.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Even though everyone thinks I hate you." I laugh, she joins in with my laughter before standing up and putting her hands out to me.

"Come on, I want to dance with my daughter." She smiles. I take her hands and she leads me back into the reception and onto the dance floor.

"It's a slow song but we're mother and daughter so it's fine." She laughs. I laugh and we dance slowly surrounded by couples.

"How long will I love you? As long as the stars are above you." She sang. I smile and hold her close to me, afraid that if I let her ago she'll leave again. I look up and see Luke smiling as he sat next to his mum. I got reunited with mine and he got reunited with his.

It was a good night.