Some Fall By Virtue

Chapter Fourteen: watchin' every minute fall through

Mundane means, as Sakura discovered, were every bit as mundane as their name suggested. The scent of the paste coating her skin beneath the bandages was strong, and altogether rather hard to ignore. It didn't help that her sense of smell was naturally a little better than the average human. Ah, the joys of being a dragon amidst people who despised them so. Laughter escaped her then in the quietness of the room she had been given for her stay there. She had barely managed to escape the Halls of Healing, though someone would be along to change her bandages periodically and reapply the herbal remedy which was meant to be speeding her healing process along. Though, in all honesty, Sakura knew she would be staying there for quite a while. She hated it.

A knock on the door had her stirring from the abyss of boredom and bone-deep fear which was eating at her every minute longer she stayed there. Part of her couldn't help but wonder whether she would be consumed by it, or otherwise, unwittingly reveal herself as the monster she was. Blankly, she stared at the door, wondering if Lord Elrond was back to once more attempt to heal her, discover why she couldn't be healed, or otherwise pepper her with questions regarding that. He was a healer at heart, and the fire in his eyes spoke of his passion for that. Sakura tilted her head, thoughts stirring unbidden. There had been fire in those other grey eyes too, though for something other than healing. Pain pulsed through her temples, and she grunted as the door clicked open.

Sakura barely resisted the urge to curse colourfully in every language she knew – which was a lot by that point in time. Dragons had to sound somewhat cultured to back up their arrogance before they decided to burn intruders or enemies to cinders. And it was that same disgusting part of her which rose up, greed bubbling up in her belly at the sight of those golden locks as he entered the room. Grey eyes met her acrid green ones, and Sakura felt oh so terribly sick. She wanted to hide. She wanted to run far, far away from Imladris and all the accursed elves who lived there. The ones who would condemn her and kill her should they know of the name she bore upon her arm. Because her true name there was scrawled across her soulmate's back, and everyone of seeming importance there knew of the monster's name written in ink of the same colouring as her scales had once been. As her scales still were – because, like it or not, she was a dragon still, and there was no way she could stop being one.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully, and it took a few moments for her to muster the will to smile. He could never suspect anything, and that meant she had to smile. "Perchance are you feeling up for a walk?" her soulmate asked, blissfully unaware of how he made her heart ache. "You must rest, yes, but it likewise does no good to have you lie down for hour after hour." Sakura blinked, feeling as though she had to be staring at the personification of summer and joy himself How could he smile at her like that? Her eyes fell to the ground, shame curling in her gut then. Of course it was because he didn't know, and he could never know. "Lothien?" Glorfindel murmured, crouching down at her bedside then, and Sakura felt sick as she met those grey-grey eyes and saw the concern in them. Truly, she was a horrid trickster – a deceiver. Only a monster could have deceived and lied to their summery, bright soulmate who represented all things good and just in the world.

"Morning?" Her voice sounded terribly flat and lifeless even to her own ears, and she wanted nothing more than to hide beneath her covers and shut the world out. Was it too much to ask for everything to stop? Even if only for a moment, she would take that moment of silence and stillness over everything else. There was silence in that space between death and life, her mind whispered traitorously, and Sakura could scarcely believe she was playing with the idea of simply spilling her guts and dying by her soulmate's hand. It would be a terribly fitting end, and who knew? Maybe it would get rid of that shadow which lurked over her soulmate's heart. She ought to have helped with that, she knew, but fear and cowardice were but old friends by that point, lingering there, just out of sight, whispering sweet nothings to her. She just didn't want him to hate her, nor did she want to go back to the Elemental Nations. She didn't want to be called faulty again, nor did she want anymore betrayal. Not from Sasuke at least. If Glorfindel betrayed her... well... Sakura doubted she could call it a betrayal. She was the one who had betrayed him first, by merely being a twisted creature of flame, sorcery, and darkness itself.