Some Fall By Virtue

Chapter Twenty: I feel it my soul

Sighing softly, Sakura stared at the ceiling, silently listening to the sounds of pages turning as she lay there listlessly. It was like somebody had tied a weight to her – a big, fat, heavy weight, intent on keeping her down. Because everything was spiralling. Trapped as she was by the weight, she felt as though she was in freefall. The reason for it could all be traced back to one source. One, beautiful, golden-haired source, who in that current moment in time was reading a bound book beside her bed. Grey eyes occasionally glanced over at her, the feeling of being watched making her skin prickle, but Sakura had yet to meet his gaze even once. Partly because she knew she would cave into whatever his demand was, answer any question that she could, and even, possibly, try to hug him. As though she deserved and needed hugs.

Hugs aren't for monsters, the voice whispered, and Sakura could feel it then, it's words almost tangible as they wrapped around her throat and squeezed ever so gently. Time had passed at a rate Sakura hadn't quite kept focus of her body mechanically going through motions to keep her alive without her really, truly being aware of them. Not with the weights set upon her. Not with how heavy her limbs felt. Not with how the comfortable silence choked her so.

The rustle of pages stopped all of a sudden, the lack of that familiar background noise making her stir into a state slightly more wakeful than the one she had been in for – Sakura glanced at the window, noting the darkness of the sky – most of the previous night and day, that was. A small, decisive snap of a book being closed made her tense, and Sakura could only close her eyes and let out a breath as her soulmate spoke for what had to be the first time that day. After the events of the previous day. Shame and revulsion curled in her gut at the thought of everything which had gone down. "Lothien." The sound of her name rang out, an unspoken request hidden within them. Look at me. Though to Sakura that request was more akin to an order. She couldn't really deny him, no matter how much she tried.

So Sakura turned, meeting those grey eyes she had come to hate and love in equal measures. Tilting her head, she stared at him, lips not moving. She didn't know what to say. Words had escaped her by then, becoming a twisted tangle she couldn't piece together to form a coherent sentence.

"Do you wish to venture out on a walk?" Glorfindel asked. "You have not seemed like yourself today, and perhaps some adventure will help, that is, if your previous misadventures have proven anything true."

Her body was moving before she could even think to answer, legs swinging out of bed, and Sakura blinked at the blue dress she was now wearing. She couldn't remember putting it on. She stood then, a familiar presence making itself known at her side, and Sakura could only stumble forwards, feeling like a new-born colt as she did so. She felt clunky and out of place, though she presumed she had the fact she was stuck in an elven realm to blame for the latter. Possibly the former too. Though Glorfindel acted like nothing was wrong with her. Like he was perfectly fine with her presence there. A shaky breath escaped her, the voice reminding her then. He doesn't know. Her shoulders shook, tears threatening to well in her eyes, but Sakura pushed them back with a valiant effort. She was tired of crying. She was tired of everything.

"Will you not indulge me in conversation?" her soulmate asked, voice piercing through the silence which hung between them. "Or we can find somewhere quiet, if that is what you would prefer?"

"Quiet," Sakura murmured softly. She wanted to go someplace quiet – away from the hustle and bustle of Imladris. Though she rather suspected it would merely be a quiet place within Imladris. It was hardly like she could escape the clutches of elves so very easily. "Somewhere quiet."

He inclined his head, leading her away from the noise, and with each step they took further away from the hustle and bustle, Sakura felt the tension slip from her shoulders somewhat. She really had the tendency to automatically become far too relaxed in her soulmate's presence. Chewing on her lip at the reminder, she followed Glorfindel, a smile pulling at her lips as he led her to that out-of-the-way courtyard he had found her in upon his return.