Some Fall By Virtue

Chapter Nineteen: but everything that hurt

Her eyelids felt as though they had been glued shut, and Sakura could only groan lowly as she came to right then and there. He was back, unless that had been an odd fever dream and Noeneth had been the one to bring her back. Sakura wasn't quite sure which option she would prefer as she lay there, blinking blearily at the ceiling. A glance to one side of the room – the side with the chair propped close by to the bed – told her of the truth.

Sakura flopped back down on the bed from where she had sat up with a groan, and Glorfindel smiled merrily at her. Clueless as to how very much she wanted to be anywhere but in his presence. Not that she could say it. She could never and would never deny him. Because you love him, the voice whispered bitingly, how could you know a thing about love? A huff of air escaped her, and she stared determinedly at the ceiling. Greedy, greedy, little monster.

"Good morning to you too," he said, chair creaking somewhat as he shifted his weight forward. "I trust you have recovered from your ill-timed adventure yesterday?"

"Mmm," Sakura grumbled, groggy and half-delirious from what felt like a lack of sleep. "Why are you here?" she asked, her awakening having left her a few braincells short of a full set. "Surely there are better things for you to be doing at this hour..." There did, after all, have to be better things to do than babysit a dragon. Not that any knew she was such a fell beast, or so Sakura mused.

"Noeneth is taking a well earned rest from watching over you," her soulmate explained, a wry grin on his lips in that instant. "So now I may see how I fare at ensuring you do not venture out on any unwelcome explorings which may bring you to further harm."

"I guess I will just have to stay in my room then," she said, shifting atop the bed then, careful of her injuries – what with the narrowed grey eyes settled upon her as she shuffled about to find a comfortable position.

"Though I have been informed it is ill advised to allow you free reign with a needle and thread," he remarked, glancing towards where she knew her embroidery had been left, needle, thread, and all. "Noeneth mentioned you have an unfortunate habit of injuring your fingers."

Sakura chewed on her lip then, shifting in her bed yet again, making a mental note to get Glorfindel to let her out for a short walk because bed sores were a thing. It was strange – to have to ask for permission and the like for those kinds of things, but Sakura supposed that was what she got. More so for being an apparently rather troublesome patient. For being a bother. "It's not like it makes my chest any worse," she mumbled, squirming under the weight of those grey almost knowing eyes. Sakura wondered whether it was something specific to elf lords, to have an aura of knowing-ness around them at some times.

It wasn't like she had ever gotten the chance to interact with another one before. Any she had come across had been too eager to kill her to engage in conversation before that point. Not that she would've, because she too had only been interested in killing them. Her hands curled into fists, shame overflowing at the memory of trying to get his love in that second life of hers there. Melkor hadn't been capable of such. Sakura only wished she had known that way back then. Maybe then she might've had a chance at a happier ending.

But you didn't, the voice whispered, and Sakura stared determinedly at her toes, not wanting to meet those grey eyes as the memories flashed behind her own as shame pulsed through her, thick and hot.

"Lothien, the fact remains that you are becoming injured, and that is never anything good," Glorfindel said, biting on his own lip – an expression which seemed oddly out of place upon his noble face. "It matters not if your actions do not worsen your already present injuries, since you are merely giving yourself more, albeit in different places." He tilted his head, staring at her contemplatively, and Sakura took the time to note that he was wearing a blue version of the tunic he had worn yesterday. Sakura wondered how many other colours he would suit. It was a far cry from the black she felt she ought to be wearing. "Tell me, do you take joy in being in pain?" he asked, and Sakura wrapped her arms around herself then, highly uncomfortable with where that particular line of questioning was heading.