𝙒𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝘿 // Sugawara x Reader

1

"Hi?" you greeted. "What brings you here...?"

It's been a week. A week after that incident I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember it, yet, I can't even get it off my head. Why does it hurt badly? Why does my heart tightens as if I'm dying? 

I can't see you anymore. I don't wanna look at you anymore. Please don't look at me. Please forget about me. Please. 

I'm scared. I'm scared that I might cry right here, right now. I'm scared to tell you how I feel. I'm scared to be attached to you again.

I might be exaggerating but I'm really hurt. Please leave.

"...Suga-san?"

"I missed you. And you're ditching practice for the whole week," his voice sent shivers to your skin. You never knew that it would hurt you more when you try to avoid him. "Young lady, you are supposed to support us until we graduate. I'm afraid I might punish you for turning against your own promise."

Stop treating me like that. Stop treating me like your daughter or your little sister. That's not what I want.

"Oh, Koushi!" your mom's voice was heard behind, making him enter your house and pushing you aside gently. Again, his touch. His touch is what you longed for. You missed it. You missed him. "You're just in time. We're going to have dinner. Come on, eat with us."

Please no. Please refuse. Please leave.

"Actually, madam, I'm planning on staying the night here. Can I?"

What?! Seriously?! Please be a little more considerate, you bastard. Can't you see I'm trying hard to fight my feelings back?

"I already told my parents about it."

"I told you to stop calling me madam. But that, I mean... you sleeping here, would be great. Are you going to sleep with (Y/N)?" asked your mother while she was preparing the table.

"Are you a mind reader, 'mom'?" Sugawara walked into the dining room to help your mom. "I'm calling you 'mom' today but I still think that 'madam' is  better."

"It's too formal," your mom chuckled. 

Sugawara has been your best friend ever since. He helped you a lot. He guided you. He treated you like a princess. Your mom always liked him. She always ask you to invite him for dinners. Everything about him is just perfect.

And you couldn't help but fall for him. Now, how can you believe that a girl and a guy can be friends without falling in love with each other? Scratch that, try spending time with Sugawara 'as friends' for a day, anyone would be head over heels. Maybe, it doesn't work on him? Maybe, he's too precious to be just a friend. 

"Because (Y/N) is a princess so you must be a queen," he said.

"Quit with that royal imagination, you're making me blush," your mom joked.

You haven't tell anyone about what you heard so no one knew you're in pain. No one comforted you. You have to deal with this by yourself.

"Darling! Dinner's ready," your mom called out. You sighed as you walked over to them.

You ate dinner with them quietly. Except, they were chatting. You wanted to talk and join their conversation but you were just not in the mood. You felt like carrying a heavy feeling and it forbid you to have fun chatting with them.

Trying to react naturally, you occasionally smile at them and nod your head for agreement. You were trying your best to hide it in.

After the meal, Sugawara volunteered to do the dishes so you and your mom can take a rest, since your mom said she's dizzy. You went back to your room and took a bath. Since he's sleeping here, your bath time was earlier than usual. You can't just take a bath with him in your room then go out to change, can you?

Moreover, he doesn't like you bathing late. Or sleeping late. He always remind you to do your night routine before hopping to your gadget.

When you entered the bathroom, you fell on the floor. You hugged your legs and buried your face into your knees. You started to cry quietly. You bit your lips hard so sobs wouldn't come out. 

Feeling satisfied after taking out your shitty emotions, you once again sighed. You turned the hot shower on and rinse your body. 

Sugawara was done with the dishes in 10 minutes. He immediately came into your room. You were not there and he heard shower so he assumed that you're not done yet. 

Without bad, creepy or dirty ideas, he looked into your closet to find you something to wear. He picked comfortable clothes as well as lingerie. He set it at the table beside the door of your bathroom. He flopped himself on the bed and messaged their volleyball group chat.

You brushed your teeth and did your skin care, making sure that you don't look like someone who just cried a moment ago. You dried your hair with a blower. After that, you went out, with your towel wrapped around your body, to get changed, only to find Sugawara on your bed, with his legs crossed.

"You're done? That's your clothes," he pointed at the table.

Why do you have to do that? You're making it harder for me. You're ruining my efforts. I hate you! I... I... I wish I could hate you.

"Thanks," you said before grabbing it and going back in to changed.

After good 5 minutes of getting ready for a long night, you sighed for the last time and went out. 

Sugawara placed his phone immediately at your bedside table. He lay down on your bed and tapped the free space beside him. You slowly walk towards him and sat on the free space.

You knew it was coming. He would definitely ask you about you avoiding him. You knew you had to come up with the 'busy' idea but you also knew he wouldn't buy it.

"Come on, lie down beside me. It's not like it's our first time," he said. "I missed you."

As a friend? As your little sister?

"Wait, are you mad at me? Is that why you were avoiding me?"

You shook your head.

I want to be mad at you. I wanted to hate you. But I always end up blaming myself. It's always my fault.

"You know I'm not gonna believe you if you say you're busy right?" you nodded. "So tell me the truth, young lady."

He waited for you to talk. You wish you could talk. But instead, tears fell from your eyes without your permission. 

"Okay. You're not gonna talk, are you?" he sat up and shifted next to you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you close to his body.

I wish you're doing this because you like me too. I wish you're hugging me because you love me. I wish you hated seeing me cry. I wish you don't see me as your little sister.

"Do you know why I came here?" he activated his softest and most gentle voice so you would feel comfort. "I knew you're hurt."

"But I don't know why. And I think you're gonna keep it to yourself."

"Texting you or asking you at school won't help."

"So I decided to go here and sleep with you."

"You don't have to tell me. You don't have to talk."

"You can just cuddle me 'till morning. I'll wait for your reason next time, okay?"

"Now, let's sleep..."

He pulled you down so you both can lay on the bed. You hugged him back and buried you face on his chest while you cry. He smiled bitterly as he felt hurt seeing you like this.

"...darling."