𝙒𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝘿 // Sugawara x Reader

8

"You didn't have to stay here," you told him after calming yourself down.

"I want to. I can't let you by yourself," he reassured you.

He embraced your body, allowing you to feel the warmth he's producing. You felt nice and safe. His heat alone can calm you down.

You sighed as you melt into the hug, leaning your body more to decrease the space between. The last tear you can produce escaped as you shut your eyes.

"How about your parents? Aren't they looking for you?"

"I informed them earlier. Don't worry about me. You have a lot on your mind already," he grabbed the chance to kiss you on your forehead.

"I'm really thankful, Suga-san."

"I'll always be there for you."

You stayed the night at the hospital, waiting for your mother to wake up. Recalling what happened, Sugawara didn't have the chance to confess to you yet.

A message was sent to you after your last call attempt. Because of that, you hurriedly went straight to the hospital.

Your mother collapsed at her work and was brought here. When you heard the doctor's diagnosis, your heart sank. If it weren't for Sugawara, you might not be able to handle this.

Your mother hid the fact that she's sick. She has a brain tumor and you didn't have any idea about it. You didn't know what to feel, you were confused. You didn't know what to do, you were completely lost.

That's why you're thankful to Sugawara for not leaving you all alone. You wondered if he'd stay if he knew about you feelings. You were becoming more and more afraid for your future.

"I'll go buy breakfast. Stay here," he said, stretching his limbs to fullest. "Look after your mom, okay?"

You nodded, rubbing your eyes to adjust with the light coming from the window. When he left, you went inside the bathroom to wash your face. Then, you sat beside your mother again. She was still asleep.

"Mom," you bit your lip to contain your tears. "Why didn't you tell me?"

You reached out for her hand and caressed it. Bringing it to your nose, you sniff her hand, allowing your tears to flow.

"How will I survive without you?" you look at her. "What will I do without you? 

"I'm sorry," your eyes widened as you hear her voice. It was faint and weak but you were happy she woke up.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling? Is there something you need? Wait, let me call a doctor-"

"N-no," she coughed. "You don't have to. Just stay here. Tell me about yesterday."

"What? Yesterday?" your mother nodded, flashing a slight smile. "I had fun with him."

You told her about everything and the fact that you were mad at yourself for enjoying the day while your mom is suffering at the hospital. She reassured you that it was okay and she's glad you're enjoying.

"You like him, don't you?"

You pouted and lowered your head. Nodding is the response you gave her. She lifted her hand to pat and caress your head.

"I like him, mom," you sighed. "But I think I shouldn't. I think he likes someone else."

You felt a sting in your chest as you recall what you heard in that night.

<flashback<

You were walking towards the gym, fist in ball and mumbling incoherent words. You were getting ready to confess your feelings to someone you like for a long time. It took you months to gather this courage and now, you're going to take the gamble.

I don't care anymore. I just have to do this. I just have to express what I wanted him to know.

You hid yourself to practice your script and lessen your nervousness. You were going through the script but all you can remember is 'I like you, Suga-san'. I mean that's all that matters, right?

"(Y/N)?" you covered your mouth, you thought someone called you.

"Of course, he likes her," you heard Daichi's voice.

"She's like a little sister to me."

You tried to peek at the three third years and listen to there conversation.

"Really? Just a sister?" Asahi teased.

You saw Sugawara looked at him weirdly. Then they laughed all together.

Are they making fun of me? Wtf?

"What about Michimiya-san?" Asahi asked again.

You saw Sugawara smiled and chuckled cutely while a slight pink blush invades his face. He looked at Daichi.

Your heart started pounding fast but it hurt. You assumed that Sugawara likes Michimiya. Running away, you clutched your chest and prevented yourself from crying.

I almost made myself a joke. Good thing, I didn't tell him yet.

...

You stopped running and hid behind a tree. You panted to catch your breath. You bit your lip as you feel your emotions take over you.

Good thing, I heard that.

...

Was it really a good thing?

If it was a good thing, why are you crying? If it was something you should be relieved of, why are your knees getting weak? You crouched down, letting your tears out.

Why am I hurting? Why am I crying? Stop. Stop! Don't cry. It's not your fault. Stop... Please.

You lowered your head and hugged your legs.

Why did you have to make fun of me? Why did you laugh? Is it really impossible for you to like me back?

You were lost in your thoughts.

That's right! That's why I'm hurting. I was hurt when you made fun of me.

Is it really the reason? You tried convincing yourself but you can't just lie. You know it yourself.

No... Why do you like her instead of me? Why is it not me? Why couldn't it be me? What does she do that I don't? What should I do now? I'm ruined!

You were afraid. You were attacked by anxiety.

What should I do now? Should I pretend I didn't hear that? Can I do that? Should I pretend to support him? I can't. Should I just avoid him? Can I?

"I'm back," you woke up from the flashbacks when you heard Sugawara. "Oh, you're awake, madam."

"Yeah," your mother responded, her eyes on you as you stare at Sugawara. "Thank you."

"I bought breakfast but I think the hospital will provide your food. Or is there anything you like?" he set the food down. "And why are you crying again, young lady? Don't cry in front of your mom."

You wiped your tears and nodded. Standing up, you approached him to help. You mother thought that Sugawara doesn't have the slightest idea and she was debating whether she should tell him or not. Base on her experience, she chose to leave it on you.

"Are you okay, madam?"

"Yes."

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?"

"Huh?" you looked at him and nodded. "Why are you asking me?"

"I'm worried about my second family."