A Moceit Story

Anytime

Patton looked at him, eyes wide and glancing at Roman, who wasn't paying a lot of attention to the two.
"Parden?" he whispers back, hoping he'd heard what he thought he had.
"Anytime..."
Patton looked to Roman once again, now looking at them with an inquizative look.
"You're right Janus, I did ask for help with that... Come on." Patton says in a louder voice so Roman could hear and takes Janus's hand leading him gently away.
"And they say I'm the lier" Janus chuckles once in Patton's room with the door locked.
"I don't want to confuse the kiddos..." He says quietly.
Janus just believed Patton was embarrassed of him.
The light was off, but Janus could see Patton clearly, knowing the opposite wasn't true. Patton always struggles with seeing in the dark.
Patton reaches up, cupping Janus's face with his small hand once again. He turns Janus's face to the side, starting to kiss each scale like the last time, not asking questions.
This time it was less giggling and jokes, more slow and sweet.
Janus's back was pressed to the wall next to the door, Patton stood infront of him being so gentle and carful, it made Janus's heart melt. He wanted Patton so badly in this moment.
He feels Patton's hands slowly move down his neck and he stiffed up being sensitive.
"You have scales on your neck too... I never noticed before" Patton says quietly, not wanting to break the moment, "May I?" Patton asks, Janus nods and Patton starts kissing down his neck. Janus could feel his heart pounding and skipping beats with each connection. His knees felt weak and he bit his lip. He couldn't ruin this moment with his own desires... For all he knew, this was strictly platonic for Patton... Just something he was doing because he is practically forced to do nice things as his role as Morality.
Patton felt his face burning. He didn't really know what he was doing.
When he had told Janus "anytime", he didn't expect this. But, he also felt... Excited....
Patton didn't mind showering Janus with all the effection he had never been able to give anyone else, but, Janus's wants were different. Janus wanted to feel special, loved in a adoration way.
Patton hardly noticed how close his own lips had become so close to Janus's...
What was he even doing? This was wrong...
He couldn't make sense of his feelings.
Patton stopped, looking up into Janus's eyes as best he could in the dark. He could feel how warm Janus's cheeks had gotten. Had he gone too far?
"Janus, I'm... I'm so sorry. I-"  Patton begins, removing his hands, but Janus stops him. He pulls Patton's hands back up to his cheeks.
"It's okay Patton... I... I like it..."
Patton shakes his head, stepping away.
"I'm sorry Janus. I... I don't know... All these... Feelings!" he turns away, flopping onto his bed in frustration. "It wouldn't be right to use you..." He grumbles.
Janus aproches, sitting next to Patton, who sits up but his head in his hands.
Janus chews his lip. The words played in his words. Should he say them? Would Patton even take them?
Janus leaned close to Patton's ear, whispering, "I want you to use me..."
Patton froze, cheeks now aflame. "Ja-Janus-" he choked back, heart pounding.
Janus stands up, "Sorry, I shouldn't of said that... I'll just go..."
"No... Don't..."
An awkward quiet swollows the room.
Janus sits back down beside Patton, a little away. He had ruined it. The friendship he'd built up. Everything was gone because of the one thing he said he wouldn't do. He let his feelings fuck things up...
"sorry Janus... It's just, I have all these feelings. I kept them bottled up for so long. I don't know if it's Logan or because I was kissing you or... I just don't know... I'm sorry."
Janus hesitates, then takes a breath.
"You don't need to apologise, Patton. I need to be honest... I have/n't/ had feelings for you for a long... Long time... I'm not sure how that'd make you react, but, you should know. Because, I was taking advantage of your platonic acts for my own desires..."
Patton looks at him," You have? "
Janus nods, not sure what it ment that Patton only took that from what he'd confessed.
Patton felt a guilty feeling well up in his chest.

There's a knock at the door, Logan's voice calling for Patton.
Janus noted every change to Patton. He still had feelings for Logan... Fucking hell.
The door opens and Logan sees the two, he quickly shuts the door and walks away.
"What the..? Maybe I should go after him, it could of been-" Patton stops as Janus turns away from him.
"Janus?" he asks softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Patton, do I even have a shot with you? I know you still like Logan, he's so great and all, /I totally understand / but I could literally be Logan if you wanted, but that's just..."
"Janus... I won't lie to you, I know you can tell, but also because I want to be honest with you. I do still have feelings for Logan, but, they're fading. Every time I see him so happy with Remus, sure, it hurts a little, but it also makes me so happy for the both of them. It's complicated, but that's just how feelings are. They don't just disappear and they don't just arrive, " Janus looks down at this,"But! I'm not saying it's something I'm not interested in for the future... You make me feel... " He smiles, sighing happily .

"Okay... but do you think you could have the same feelings for me that you have for Logan?"

"I'm not sure... But, I do know that when you and I are this close..." Patton's face was red, "I want to kiss you..."

Janus's eyes widen, "You do?"

Patton nods, looking down embarrassed at what he'd admited.  

"I wish you did..." Janus mutters to himself.

Patton hears this. Should he? He still does have feelings for Logan... wouldn't it be wrong? 

He grabs Janus's collar, pulling him in quickly. Forget the morality of it, he was allowed to be selfish.

His lips met Janus's and he felt a sense of satisfaction within him. He pulled away, even only for a few seconds, that was the best feeling he'd ever experienced.  

"Patton that was..."