traitor

039 | winter escape

[haruto pov]

i've gone a week without talking to sora. i'm loosing my concentration for school and practice. i was moved into different classes after mom called the school about moving curricular's.

im tired, from school, practice, and avoiding her. i could tell the members started to get worried now, they somewhat avoided talking to me too. jeongwoo talked to me a few times but they all seemed afraid to interact with me again.

i spent the late nights practicing and putting all my anger out through dance. i miss that smile and her cute dimples. but i didn't have a choice. im trying to protect her, but i've become so mentally drained.

[sora pov]

winter has came around again, the feeling of the cold air quickly sent shivers down your body just walking outside.

i left the dorm to get fresh air and see the street lights. i grabbed a long puffy jacket before heading out to keep warm, the material made a sound every step i took.

as i opened the door, the quick breeze hit my face. it was cold but somewhat refreshing. i walked to the nearby park near the dorm and sat on the bench. i guess i could say i put my mind aside.

i sat there for a while and started to lose feeling in my fingers. it was getting late as the sky grew darker and the cars passing by slowed down.

i saw a shadow near by and it scared me enough to get up and leave. i shoved my hands in my jacket and quickly started to head back.

"sora,"

my eyes widened, i didn't expect anyone i knew to be here. but i knew that voice well.

i missed that voice. i turned around to meet his eyes. it's been so long i had stopped talking to haruto that i forgot how it felt to hear his voice again.

he was wearing one of his favorite jean jackets that no way was protecting him from the cold. i could see his lips trembling and his hands shaking.

"can we talk?"

i felt uneasy. my hand found its way to my bracelet, fiddling with the charms.

i nodded and took a few steps closer to him.

it was silent and our eyes were locked together, "i have been thinking about a lot of stuff,"

"do you remember the first time when i told you i liked you," he paused.

"i'm regretting telling you that i like you for the first time."

my hand dropped away from my bracelet. my breath halted, i felt weak, why was the wound that was healing being stabbed again?

"i don't think we should be together anymore."

i couldn't tell if that was a question, or a request.

8 words; 8 words was strong enough to break down every part of me from the day i met him.

he stood there waiting for my response awhile the wind blew against my hair.

i dropped my eyes down and i wore a slight smile, "if you think so, then we should,"

since the day i got back from japan everything was different. i was already being treated differently by the members out of pity. pity means they don't have faith in you. meaning they didn't have any faith in me.

i had to respect what haruto wanted. i shouldnt make him feel worst that it hurt me. but deep down i just wanted to run up, hug him, and never let go.

the light feeling of something cold hit my skin. i looked up to see white snow slowly falling down above us. it was just me and him, it felt like an absolute movie.

the snow quickly covered a thin layer on the ground. the gold and red christmas decorations outside matched well with the white setting. the music tune from stores could faintly be heard from where we were. it was just starting to look pretty outside. yet we were both here, wishing our goodbyes to the memories we had created.

"sora- i'm sorry," he spoke up again.

i shook my head, "this is probably for the best for us. it's okay."

it bothered me, every single word i was saying was so hard for me to say.

because i had to say these lies that don't even come from my heart.

his head hung low and started to turn his back on me. my heart felt like it was physically being torn apart. someone that i thought wouldn't ever leave me was walking away right now in front of my eyes.

i ran up to him and grabbed his hand. it was ice cold, his slim fingers just between mine. i just wanted one last moment with him, i didn't know what. i just needed more time.

haruto turned his head and looked down at my hand wrapped around his. i could see the snow in his hair, his purple lips and red eyes from the shrieking cold. i smiled, at this very moment, it felt like normal again. being this close to him and seeing his eyes sparkle with the snow.

"haruto... were you happy?"

he stared at me, his eyes starting to become glossy. he nodded his head gently.

that was enough, that was my closure. i just needed to know that he was happy.

our hands were still together, i hesitated to take off the necklace around my neck with my free hand. opening up his hands and setting the gold chain in his palm.

"i think for someone who will make you happier," i tried smiling.

a tear drop down from his face, he tried to subtly put the necklace back in my hand.

i wasnt able to make him happy. i want the best for him. he is a good person with a kind heart. i hope he finds someone who could do better for him.

i just wished it was me.

i slowly let go of his hand until his arm dropped back to his side. i started to turn back around and slowly walked back to the dorm with my heart heavy.

my ears were ringing from the numbness i've been out. i felt to turn around, seeing him drag his feet in the light snow.

he began to cross the street, then i saw a car to his right drive towards him with their head lights off. i was just far enough to see both the car and him but it was impossible for him to see the car in time with the speed the driver was going.

i ran to haruto and pushed him away hearing the screeching tires against the snow.

i felt a sudden force against my body and my vision becoming fuzzy.

i collapsed on the ground hitting my head on the concrete floor. i heard the car door open and someone came up to me holding me up.

"sora! no, no, no. call for help!" i heard someone yell as they held me close to their chest.

i struggled to open my eyes - haruto with blood running down his face and tears in his eyes looked back at me.

my vision went black.

like i said, it was just like a movie. with the worst ending.