Infinity

Heartache and Champagne

My stomach is in knots, i breathe in and out a few times to try and calm myself. The make up artist breathes heavily with annoyance for the second time, "I'm really sorry, I'm just nervous." She looks me up and down unsympathetically. I stay still for her now so that she can finish the make up without getting annoyed. Before long she's done and i look in the mirror, i am actually quite shocked at how good i look. She chews her gum behind me, blows a bubble then walks away. A stage hand comes and grabs me straight away, taking my elbow and guiding me to get changed into my dress. A dresser comes to help me and as soon as I'm dressed I'm ushered back into the dressing room, "Wait here, you will be called." Someone said to me. I look at myself in the mirror brushing down the front of my dress, its blue satin and its slightly too tight around my waist but i can still breathe in it. I sit down for a little bit but then get back up quickly to start pacing, i am so nervous. "Hey love." I look at the door and Harry is stood there, i laugh. "What?" He says with a puzzled look on his face. He is in a blue suit that pretty much matches my dress, even down to the black trim on his which matches the sash around my waist. "Does Liam think he's funny?" I say.
"Yeah, i think so. I came to wish you luck before i go on. Don't forget your on just after my interview, you can watch it..." he takes a remote off of the dressing table and turns on a small flat screen in the corner of the room - the tv turns on and it's Liam with his opening comments. "Oh, thanks. I think someone isn't coming for me though." I say looking at the door.
"Yeah, they will but just to keep you occupied you can watch." He smiles, "I will see you in a bit and you're going to be amazing." He gives me a hug and kisses me on the head before leaving. I sit down and watch the tv.
So my next guest is a close friend of mine. He's here to talk about upcoming songs and the way he's managed to convince his ex fiancee to sing. "He's the lovely, talented Mr Harry Styles!" Harry walks out and hugs Liam. He puts his hands together thanking the audience before sitting down opposite Liam. They have a quick chat about Harry's upcoming project and some audience questions before the conversation turns to me, "So, I know you don't like talking about your love life but we all know you were engaged to our mutual friend, the lovely Paige Sanderson but you called off the engagement for personal reasons which we don't need to talk about here," Liam laughs awkwardly and Harry blows into his cheeks while fiddling with the buttons on his jacket, i laugh too. "But, even after touring with her for years when we were in the band," Liam looks at the camera, "One Direction, you may have heard of us!" Everyone laughs including Harry, "We were all blown away by P's hidden talent. Talk me through how you found this out?" Liam taps his cards on his knee and the camera focuses on Harry.
"So, Paige is staying with me at the moment while she searches for her own place and she was feeling a bit down so i invited her to the studio with me. As most of you know, P helped me write my first album and most of the 1D songs and i had this tune stuck in my head for weeks so i asked P to help me with the lyrics so we got to the studio saw all the gang and we started playing. She stood in the middle of all of us and just started belting out this song." Harry looks so excited about telling this story, "The chorus was the first part she came up with and once she finished every single person in the room was stood open mouthed. She literally blew me away and so i made a phone call to my manager straight away and said we need to get this recorded. And here we are." He throws his hands up and the audience claps.
"You know what, when she sang it for the first time live yesterday i had the same reaction. Completely shocked! The song itself is so emotional which we will talk to Paige about later because we've managed to get here on the show! So after the break join us to hear her first live performance, ever, of her debut single, Away." The screen flashes to an advert.
"Miss Sanderson? We need to get you on the stage now, can you follow me?" A runner appears in my doorway and i stand up slowly, brushing the front of my dress down once more and then i take breath and follow them. We walk through the corridors and head towards the main set but instead we walk behind it towards a little stage to the left. I walk out and the audience goes crazy, Harry is being handed a guitar next to me. I squint out to the audience and spot Niall and Lana sat in the front row, i smile and then when the light shifts slightly i see Louis sat next to them. My stomach flips, "P, you are going to be amazing." Harry whispers to me as he stands behind me in his position. I nod and walk closer to the mic stand. The jingle plays somewhere and a light focuses on Liam, "Welcome back to the Liam Payne show! My music guest tonight is a friend of mine singing her new debut single Away and performing with Harry Styles this is Paige Sanderson." The lights in front of me come on full beam and Harry starts playing next to me, i begin to sing.

"I'm still in shock! You were so amazing P!" Lana hugs me again for the 3rd time.
"Thanks." I say when she lets me go and Niall hands me a glass of champagne.
"You were incredible!" Niall says giving me a one arm hug, we both hold out our glasses to the side so they don't get knocked.
"Thanks Niall." I say blushing.
"I told you she was awesome!" Harry puts his arm around me, "The audience loved it too! By the 2nd chorus they were singing along."
"Really?" I say crinkling my nose.
"Yeah, they were. I heard them." The butterflies in my stomach start flapping at the sound of Louis voice, "Congratulations. You sounded great. Can we talk for a bit?" He motions with his head to the corridor so i follow him. I try to get a glimpse of his face, his jaw is stiff.
"You okay?" I ask when he stops in front of me. He runs his tongue over the front of his teeth - not a good sign.
"What am i meant to do with that?" He asks.
"What?"
"Well, you know I'm just sat there minding me own business and you come out with this song saying about how you love me, about leaving her, a wedding? What am I meant to do with that?" He is annoyed with me.
"Well..."
"Well what? At the wedding, i was ready for us to go for it. Then you left. So i was like okay, she doesn't want this, so i moved on."
"I went away because i was confused..." i can feel the tears coming to my eyes.
"I get that but you cant come back and expect me to be waiting for you and drop everything when you tell me you love me, do you know what i mean?" I nod and wipe the tears away with my finger.
"I'm sorry." I say trying to keep my speech steady. Louis sighs heavily.
"You really did sound amazing." He turns and walks towards the exit. I watch him leave and even after i can no longer see him i stay in the same spot unmoving. It was a stupid school girl dream to think he would leave his perfectly good relationship to be with me - why did i ever think that was even an option? I feel numb and embarrassed, i don't really want to go back into the dressing room to face my friends. "P?" I hear Lana's calming voice, "You okay?" I turn to look at her popping her head around the door, she sees my face and comes into the corridor closing the door firmly behind her . "What happened?"
"He doesn't love me back." Saying the words out loud shatters my heart and as Lana pulls me into her arms i let the tears flow freely down my face. "He's an idiot." She says while rubbing my back.
"He's not. He's right, i left." Lana stops and holds me at arms length.
"No. We all told him you were coming back. He didn't listen to us. This is not your fault."
"Then maybe he doesn't have feelings for me after all." I shrug.
"Stop it!" Lana says, "Look, come in here - party with you friends who love you as I've got a newborn at home and i really need a night out!" Lana begs me. I laugh and even though I've got an upset knot in my stomach I let her lead me back into the dressing room. "There she is! The lady of the hour. Where's Louis?" Harry says waving a bottle of champagne in the air.
"Gone. Guess he didn't like the song." I shrug. Harry lowers the champagne very slowly.
"P..." he begins but Lana runs in front of me and then waves her hands in front of his face to stop him.
"It's fine. Water under the bridge! He's a fucking idiot so he deserves to go home to his stupid girlfriend and miss out on this amazing night!" Lana smiles back at me, "Now pour me another glass - this mamma is getting drunk!"
"Wayyyy!" Harry and Niall both as Harry pours us all a fresh glass. We clink the glasses together - I still feel a knot in my stomach but try to forget about it as I enjoy time with my friends. The door opens and for a second I thought it could be Louis changing his mind but instead it's Liam - fresh from the his show. Harry pours him some champagne and hands him the glass, "Another toast to our friend with the secret talent. Miss Paige Sanderson, we bow down to you! Congratulations!" Liam bows his head to me and i chuckle, we all clink our glasses one more time. I keep checking the door but deep down i know that he's not coming back.