Infinity

The Discovery

The anger rises in me and i go for him once more, Harry has me in his grasp, his arms fully clamped around my waist. Louis is smirking in front of me, "What the fuck is your problem?" I struggle against Harry once more. Liam is trying to calm the situation but no one is listening to him. "It was just a joke. I thought it was quite funny meself." I swing for him again and this time Harry is caught by surprise, i miss Louis by inches as Harry finds his grip again, "Ohhh!" Louis says then laughs. I stop trying to struggle for him and instead calm myself.
"You know what Louis, you're not even worth the energy." I pull Harry's arms off from around my waist and walk towards the dressing room. I expected Harry to follow me but I'm guessing Liam told him not to as when i get to the dressing room and the mirror greets me there is no one behind me. I sit down in the chair and put my face into my hands. The tears flow effortlessly. So far all I've had from Louis this trip is constant snide comments, being the butt of his jokes and then ignoring me when not doing either of the first two. I've been pushing Harry away thinking that might be what has caused the problem but it hasn't helped. I'm exhausted and emotionally drained... i just want to go home. There's a knock on the door behind me and my heart sinks when i see its Louis in the reflection. I sit up and dry my eyes quickly so that he doesn't see that he got to me but its too late as he sighs and sits down in the chair to me. "P," He begins. I reach for the lipstick on the surface in front of me and try to put it on, "What Louis? Got more to say?" I snap.
"No, i was gonna apologise, you know what i mean." He sits back and crosses one leg over his other knee. I nod, "I'm sorry. I haven't been meself recently." I pause with the lipstick inches away from my top lip and frown at his reflection.
"Why?" I'm not sure if i get to ask that question but part of my heart will always belong to him. He shrugs.
"Well you know, tour is stressful and stuff..." That's a lie, i turn to look at him and his blue eyes are staring at me, "And you and Harry." I stop breathing. "What about me and Harry?"
"It's hard to watch you two, constantly flirting and stuff." He sighs again. I feel anger rise in me.
"You don't get to say that to me Louis." I spit the words at him and push myself away from the dressing table, i begin to pace, "You don't get to say that because its been 4 months of fucking torture, of me laying my heart out on the floor for you to just step on it and now i finally get to let myself be loved again and you say that to me. It's not fair. Especially when you are STILL with Eliza."
"Am I?" He raises his eyebrow at me.
"Are you what?" Then my brain finally catches up, "Wait, what?" Louis nods at me - he's trying not to smile but corners of his mouth twitch.
"Just before we left. To be honest I'm not sure what I was thinking." My heart is beating out of my chest and when i finally go to speak Harry enters the room. "I was checking that you guys haven't killed each other." He approaches me and kisses me on the top of the head. "You okay?" He frowns at me as my face is still frozen in shock. Louis stands up and walks towards the door, "Yeah, everything is cool H." He says smoothly as he walks out the door smirking. No Louis William Tomlinson, everything is definitely not cool I think to myself as i look into Harry's emerald green eyes he puts his arms around me to bring me close to him but i push away from him. He tries again and this time i throw his arms away from my body, he frowns at me. "P?" He reaches for me a final time and I walk away from him.
"Just stop H. Stop." I say as he walks towards me. His eyes glisten and i know that I've hurt him but i walk out of the room anyway, shaking my head as i do so. I reach into my back pocket to retrieve my phone and dial a familiar number just as a stage hand walks past me, "You've got half hour until they want you back on the bus - I nod. "Hey Paige. How weird that you call - I'm just watching that giraffe I was operating on last time you called. She's doing really well." I relax slightly at the sound of Riley's voice.
"I've fucked up." I say and i feel the tears fall down my cheeks. I check both sides of the corridor then lean against the wall which I let myself slide down. "What? Are you okay? What's happened?" Riley is panicked, "Where are you?"
"Amsterdam i think. All the days roll into one." I panic slightly too and it clearly shows in my voice.
"Breathe. What's happened?" He says calmly.
"I gave up on Louis... i let things happen with Harry and i."
"That's good. Are you happy?"
"Yes... or i was." I sigh heavily, tucking my legs up underneath me and play with the laces on my converse.
"Was?" I can hear the confusion in Riley's voice.
"Louis just told me he's single now." It's now Riley's turn to sigh.
"He has great timing." He laughs awkwardly, "Did he say anything else? That he did it for you?" I frown down at my feet.
"No." I say solemnly, "But he did say it's hard to watch Harry and I."
"P..." Riley begins and I already know what he's going to say.
"Yeah, I know. It could just be because we are happy and he's just broken up with someone which always sucks." I try to make sense of it in my mind.
"Precisely. Them breaking up might not have anything to do with you." He says.
"Yeah. So what do I do?"
"Carry on like nothings changed I suppose. Is it fair for you to end things with Harry?" He asks and I instantly know the answer.
"No." I whisper.
"So you've got your answer P. Hey, when you're in SA pay us a visit yeah?" I chuckle into the receiver.
"Of course Ry." I hang up the phone then hold it to my chest. The tears begin to fall freely from my eyes and they come out in sobs.
"Paige?" The accent startles me and I quickly rub the tears from my eyes then begin to stand up.
"Yeah?"
"You okay luv?" Louis blue eyes are full of concern.
"Yeah. I'm fine." He comes closer to me and reaches for my hand. I move sideways slightly shying from his touch, "I'm fine Lou." My eyes widen at the shortened version of his name and pretend like I haven't said it. I walk away from him and try my hardest not to look back.