I was one of five women chosen to serve our country, fighting side by side with the men, and only some of us had come home. Being surrounded by friends and enemies, having to choose who you can save, who you can love, and how to survive is something...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Our last night away from the line was uncomfortable for me as I couldn't get to sleep. After spending hours tossing and turning, I got up to sit outside on the stone steps of my housing. I stared up at the star-filled midnight sky to watch them twinkle brightly, hoping to calm my growing anxiety. In a few short hours, we would be heading back to the frontline.
Earlier in the evening, I overheard several men excitedly expressing their desire to return to the lines, making their feelings clear on the matter. They had Germans to kill and felt they could do it better now, fully rested. I hated hearing things like that.
I couldn't understand why this was something to strive for. Yes, we were at war but I refused to believe every single man fighting for the other side was a bad person. The Germans were following orders - just like we were - but to claim they were as bad as Hitler, felt unfair. I thought about the kid I had to kill on D-Day. He looked younger than me and was probably fighting for his country without understanding the why. Then I recalled the soldier who let me by after seeing I was a nurse; he didn't kill me or Blithe, even though he could have easily done so without thinking twice. The fact he didn't, spoke volumes to his character.
I shook the memories from my racing mind away, sighing as I looked back into the sky to watch the stars. I caught a glimpse of a shooting star fading across the horizon. "You're supposed to make a wish on those," a voice stated from the shadows near me. I glanced over my right shoulder to see who was speaking to me.
Emerging from the dark corner of the street, Winters approached me. He smiled as he stood on the opposite side of the stairwell wall, glancing at the sky briefly. "How are you holding up, Emmeline?"
I forced a small smile. "I'm all right, sir. Thank you for asking."
"Can't sleep?"
"Not really, sir," I said with a shrug, "Guess I just have a lot on my mind."
He leaned against the stone wall of the steps, asking, "Would it help to talk about it?"
I shook my head. "Not particularly."
He nodded as he let the matter go. He glanced up into the sky again. "Beautiful night."
I looked back at the blinking stars. "Very much so, sir."
He turned back to me, smiling warmly. "Don't stay up too late, Emmeline. We've got a big day tomorrow."
"Yes, sir," I replied. He took his leave from me as I remained there, still lost in thought, watching the night sky.
The next morning, Easy Company assembled in the courtyard, waiting for our new orders to return to the line. One of those orders included standing at the ready for the new replacements to fill the gaps from the men we lost. My mind thought over the long list of names scribbled inside my notebook. We were also informed of something most of us had already figured out for ourselves: we were one of the few units to suffer the most casualties.
