Silmarillion Imagines and FanFics

Maedhros going hunting

Warning: angst, kinslaying flashbacks, slight gore

I just felt like writing angsty stuff today, :[ so here you go... It's gonna be really short. Sorry...

*I'm 2/3rds into the fanfic, and I realize that Maedhros can't shoot, because he only has one hand. I don't want to delete this though, cuz it's kinda good?... Please excuse the brain hole...

Just ignore that fact and read on, I'm sorry......

He was so, so sick of it. Sick of the blood, sick of the death, sick of it all. And just tired. Tired of living. Why couldn't it end? He had nothing more to live for. 

The doe in the clearing was so oblivious, so unsuspecting, unaware of danger. She grazed peacefully in the early spring sunlight, the wind turned against her. Maedhros stared down the shaft of his arrow. 

How many times has he done this? How many times has he ended a life, with the flick of a hand? How many times has he killed another living being? He could not count, nor remember the last time. Monster. Kinslayer. 

The tip of the arrow dipped slightly. 

Maedhros drew his dagger across the throat of the Teleri elf. He watched the bright eyes go dark. He felt the hot blood pool on his hands. He wanted to stop. Wanted to bring the stranger back to life, because this felt so wrong. He wanted to drop his dagger and run, hide, pretend this never happened. Maedhros stared at his own hands. 

What have I done?

The words echoed inside his head. 

He wanted to go back. Before the Silmarils. Before the Oath. Before he had claimed a life. But he felt it pushing at him. He fought against it, in vain. His father's words surrounded him. 

"The Teleri would keep us away from our Silmarils! They renounce their friendship, in the hour when we need it most! They would KEEP THE SILMARILS FROM US!" 

Then the kinslaying began. 

Things that are done cannot be undone. 

Maedhros only now appreciated those words. 

And the oath kept pushing. And he gave way. 

So the kinslaying continued. 

And Maedhros hated the monster he'd become. 

One motion was all it would take. 

He stared at the doe across the clearing, her life so different from his. Her's was bright and happy, filled with lazy days in the sunlight. 

His life was blood-drenched and horrid, full of shadows and a dark end. Maedhros would get no happy ending. The least he could do was let her have one. 

So he slackened his bow and replaced the arrow in his quiver. 

Maglor looked at his brother. 

"We don't need the meat anyway." Maedhros said curtly. He turned his horse around and rode away. 

A small glimmer of understanding shone briefly in Maglor's eyes. 

Across the clearing, the doe bounded away. 

I know right? How can it be this short? 

I don't know... but it's 9PM again. 

Have a good day! (I really shouldn't be saying this after an angst fic... oops)