Wait He's My Dad

Thoughts and Prayers

-Hope's POV-

I sat on my bed really thinking about how I could go about asking Adrienne to be my mom. I mean I already call her mom so it seems that she wouldn't care. I just wish I wasn't so hard on myself. I know I've been overthinking a lot recently. I want to talk to Dad about this, but I don't want him to tell her by accident. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone but Ashley about this and I don't know why. I guess I'm just used to having her and only her to tell secrets to. I also do want to keep this from Dad because I want to surprise him. I mean it's his wife. Then again he might get mad that I never told him about this. There was a knock on my door so I sat up. "Hey, is everything okay?" Dad asked. "Yes," I said. "You know you can come to me about anything right?" Dad asked. "I know. I just want to figure this out myself before I come to anyone about it." I said. Dad looked over at me. It was taking so much out of me to not tell him what I was thinking. "It's nothing against you or well anyone else, but I think I need to figure out what I want first before relying on others," I said. He nodded. "Do you need me to get Ashley over here?" He asked. "She knows about this. I want some time to myself. I need to know what I truly want. If I want her over I'll come to you." I said. "Good. Just know that no matter what I am here for you." Dad said. "I know and for that, I will be forever grateful," I said. He nodded and got up off my bed. "Just make sure you come down to eat. I don't care when, but you need to eat something." He said. "I know. I'll come down for dinner." I said. "Good. Have fun doing whatever it is you're doing." He said. He then walked over to the door and left.

I laid back down on my bed. This was going to be harder than I thought. I should just talk to him. It'll be easier for me. But my dumbass self wants to do this by myself. Honestly, I might take a nap. Take some time to relax. Actually, I'm going to go outside and sit there. I like being outside when I think sometimes. It's more relaxing. I like to watch the trees sway in the wind and listen to the bird's sing. Or if I stay in I can listen to music and read books. I'll probably stay in and just read some of my books. I got up off of my bed and went over to my bookshelf. I grabbed one of my many Stephen King books. I didn't really pay attention to what I had grabbed. There were too many for me to actually start to learn the title names.

I was halfway through the book when there was a sudden knock on my door. "Yes?" I asked. The door opened and Mom was there. "Dinner is ready. Your father told me to come up and get you from your room. He was worried you'd fully skip dinner." She said. "He doesn't need to worry. I have everything under control." I said. "He's your father and he's going to worry about you. I worry about you as well. Whatever it is you decide to do, your father and I will be there every step of the way." She said. I  stopped and stood there looking at her. I really don't know why I'm making this, so hard for myself. She literally is already called mom by me. BUT WHY IS THIS SO HARD? WHY CAN'T I SEE HOW GREAT SHE IS? WHY AM I SO SCARED? "You good?" She asked. "Yeah. I'm good. Just thinking." I said. "Thinking about what?" She asked. "Some stuff. I've been thinking about it for a while. I don't want to talk to anyone else if that's okay." I said. "That's fine. Just know you'll always have either of us." She said. "I know," I said. "Now let's go get dinner." She said.

We walked down to the dining room and sat down at the table. Everyone was already there. "I didn't think you'd come down," Dad said. "You had Mom come and get me, so like, I couldn't just skip," I said. "I'm glad I had you go get her then," Dad said. "You should be. I'd probably would have come down later for food," I said. Everyone at the table shook their head. "What? I'm telling the truth." I said with a smile. "You need to make sure you eat," Dad said. "I would have come down maybe in like two hours, so technically I would have been eaten something," I said. "That's not good," Mom said. "I know," I said grabbing some food. The others also grabbed their own food. 

After dinner, I went back up to my room and went back to my book. I just wanted to sit and calm down a bit. Now it's to time to think about how I'm going to ask Adrienne to become my mom. I just know that I want to do it at Christmas this year. I just hope she says yes. I think she'll most likely say yes.

When I finished my book, I got up to change into pajamas. It was getting harder for me to stay awake. It might be because of how worried I've been all day. No. It is because of my emotions being all over the place. This is what has always happened to me. After I picked out what I would wear as pajamas, I went back to bed and just turned on some random YouTube video. Soon I fell asleep.