𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐇 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 || 𝐉𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

· Old habits ·

plot: she thought going back into her roots would help her break up

(sʜᴇ/ʜᴇʀ)
-sorry this took so long, I had to listen to the song you referenced
- thank you for waiting bestie :)
-language
-long chapter

🂱

"Just please!... leave me alone." she propped her hands, as she pushed his hands away from her "please let me explain" he held both her hands tight enough for her to not walk away

"What's the reason huh? Y-you think I'm just some games to play, huh-" her eyes glistening from the tears she held on, she bites her lips to stop the tears to flow

He didn't want this to end but there was no other way to tell her about the whole situation without making her cry or get angry "I'm a human being, schlatt... Not some dumb toy you play with, thats not how humans work!"

Her tears began to fall off her face, she looked so stressed with all her emotions hid behind those smiles

"Let go of me schlatt, you're hurting me" she felt so weak being in front of him, he let go and contained his composure even though they both feel the same feeling at that time

"You were supposed to be my lifeline schlatt-" she wiped her tears, as he stared at her. He never felt so ashamed of himself

"Now you are the one who made me worse"

"Im really sorry" he sniffed, keeping his thoughts stable while physically having a serious face

"Sorry doesn't fix anything" she wiped her tears, she backed away knowing that she will have a horrible break up meltdown

🂲

Her body couldn't move away from her bed, she wanted to recover less dramatically but she can't do it all by herself, she stayed there as her eyes began to water again, for the past few days she can't stop crying, she loved him.

—[ Y/n ]'s POV

I never knew it was that easy to fall into a pit of despair, I have never expected the possibility of one human being to destroy my life.

Sometimes I wonder how he is right now, I bet he is living his life while I weep inside my bathtub trying to drown myself in regrets of ever breathing the same air as him, to think I was the problem in the relationship but we were never really in love, thats what I think

I took a great big step into forgetting his face, all the things we did, and never acknowledge him by getting into regretful things to forget. by repeating my old habits

He was my way out to quitting my old habits, he was there when I feel like going back, he was there when I needed him, now he's not here no one gonna stops me from going back and sometimes help me fix things

My mind became too foggy to think when I'm into my phase of overdosing, I am too deep into my old habits that I can't even remember him sometimes

I curled up on the floor, tears falling, putting my head to my knees and maybe all these feelings will be gone and maybe numb me

God, I feel like a reck and fallen deep into getting high, sobbing every time I remember him, breaking down

🂳

After a week or so, I tried to go out and forget about everything and maybe keep me in shape, and looking like I dont need him even though deep inside I still do.

I brought something to keep me calm, I walked into a small playground where kids and adults go, but today wasn't pretty filled with children running around. Without thinking I sat down into a swing, pushing myself higher and higher until I can feel my hair flows into the air

I held on to the chains that hold the plank that I sat down, trying to feel the air tickling my neck, I took out my tiny flask filled with vodka, keeping my anxiety lowered. I flicked the cap and drank little to little until the bottle becomes empty and my body becomes calm

I dont know why I'm doing this but I feel a little better from the past week, I swung myself a little higher and whip out the box of cigarettes and lighter

"This shit gets really old" I whispered to myself and lighted my stick

🂴

Regrettable things are really gonna fuck me, I never really wanted to agree to this but they're my friend I can't say no, and they know what happened to my fucked up life.

I wore something that is out of my comfort, something that shouts slut.

"Come on, man, not this-" I tugged into the shortest tight dress I've seen before, she slapped my hands "Just try [ Y/n ] we know you're broken" Max whispered, Mary nodded her head

Max squished both her hands to look at her, "You look great, I promise" she kissed my cheeks which left a lipstick mark

"Yeah, you shouldn't cry at that man," Mary said, as Max nodded crossing her hands. I looked at my dress in my full body mirror, I took a tiny spin and I felt a little better. I smiled

"Now, let's go before you change your mind" Max pushed both of us outside the house

—

The party was out of control, I dont even know where my friends were, I was panicking inside as people were having fun, I couldn't take it anymore. I ran outside to get some fresh air

I got outside, I held into my hands as I was ready to hit somebody, I felt really uneasy about today.

Somebody tapped into my bare shoulder, I wasn't even thinking I hit them with my elbow, they coughed and kneeled down, I looked at him and it was, Schlatt?

I got down and looked at him, trying to say sorry, helping him got back up "HOLY SHIT, IM SORRY!" I helped him got up, he still put his hands into his chest catching his breath "Here let me help you" I looked at him, trying to look if I hurt him badly

"I'm okay" he smiled, blood dripped on his left nostril, I covered my mouth and pointed at his nose "Blood-" he wiped it with his shirt like it was nothing

"What the hell did you do that??!" I stared at his brown glittering eyes, I backed up and walked the other way

"Nevermind, I gotta go back" I pushed him away and forgot about the encounter. I knew he would do that, he puts his big hands into my head to stop me "No wait were aren't done"

I tried to loosen his grip on my head, I scratched it but nothing happened "Let go of me, schlatt"

"Let's talk first" he looked at me, i slapped at his hands away from me. "Fine, but I need to go somewhere"

"Im sorry for everything, I know you went through a lot. I'm happy for you" we sat down on a pavement near the club, he rested his forearms onto his thighs, he really doesn't know how much it hurts me

"Yeah I'm fine now, I gotta keep myself sane for once" I laughed, deep down I was still into him but if he has his own life now with his girlfriend, ill keep his boundary "Your looking like you outdid yourself, you're looking a lot better"

"Thanks, big man"

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