Out Of Control

Sad Shit

Frank's pov

Trigger warning for talk of suicide and self harm.

I glared at the overly smily posters as I stalked towards the front desk, my sneakers scuffing the linoleum floor.

"I'm here to see Gerard Way." I informed the blonde receptionist, her pink lipstick reflecting the yellow florescent lights.

"Are you family?" She questioned, her overly cheery voice making me want to break something.

"I'm his boyfriend" I lied, not wanting to miss the chance of visiting him.

"Excellent," she briefly typed something into the computer, her purple nails clacking against the keys noisily, "he's in room 403, on the third floor."

"Thanks." I mumbled and stalked off in the direction I presumed the elevator to be.

Once I'd found the elevator I practically punched the corresponding button that would lead me to the third floor. Thankfully I reached the floor without another human entering the lift, and stalked off to find Gerard's room.

After fifteen minutes and alot of walking I came to the conclusion that I was indeed lost, I sighed loudly and turned around to continue in the direction I'd just come from.

After another fifteen minutes I walked into a tree. Except it wasn't a tree it was Gerard's brother.

"Oh my god I've been calling you, where the fuck have you been?" His bloodshot eyes hidden behind his white glasses.

Before I could spit out an answer he wrapped his lanky arms around my neck, "I found him Frank, I found him, I thought he was dead." My heart broke for the fifteen year old. He had showed me how much he cared for his brother over the few months that I'd known them both and the thought of him finding Gerard half dead and passed out on the bathroom floor made tears prick in the corners of my eyes.

I gripped onto Mikey's shirt and ran my hand up and down his back comfortingly, he drew a shaky breath and unwrapped his limbs from around my body.

"D'you know where you're going?" Mikey asked as he wiped tears from beneath his glasses. I shook my head in response to his question.

"I'll take you to his room."

I followed behind the lanky boy, struggling to keep up due to my much shorter legs.

We passed room after room, and wandered an amass of bleak corridors, the same yellow lights pounding into my skull.

"Whaere's your mom?" I questioned, wondering how his mother was coping with the recent events.

"She's getting coffee, she's been up all night."

We rounded a corner and Mikey stopped at a room, the white door almost disguised against the walls that were matching in colour.

"He woke up at some point this morning but he's probably asleep again." The boy warned, I nodded slightly, just wanting to see my raven haired vampire.

"Gerard asked me to tell you something this morning," he said, sniffing. I nodded cautiously, "I didn't know, none of us did," he drew an unsteady breath, seeming to mentally prepare himself, "Gerard has been self harming. We don't know how long for, he refused to tell us, but he asked me to tell you so he didn't have to tell you himself."

Now it was my turn to hug Mikey, I found my arms around him as I gripped onto the back of his black flag shirt. "I'm so sorry, Mikey. I didn't know."

"I know, it's okay."

We untangled ourselves and Mikey pushed the door open and revealed the fragile boy, his dark hair splayed out on the white pillow. The ever present bags under his eyes were darker and more fierce than usual. His pale complexion almost melted into the sheets. My eyes fell over his arms, or more specifically his scars. They were a battleground filled with a mix of deep scars and fresh cuts. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes yet again and threatened to spill over. I noticed an IV line that pierced through the scarred skin on his arm, ensuring he regained the fluids he lost.

Mikey had called me crying, early in the morning, it had taken me until the sun was almost up to calm him down enough to receive any comprehensive speech from him. He told me through sobs and gasps that he was in the hospital with Gerard. My heart had dropped, similarly to when the news of my father had reached me and my mother. When Mikey had told me about Gerard's attempt the world seemed to stop spinning. My hand went limp, the phone tumbling into my bed, being lost in the sheets.

Hours later, as soon as fate would permit, I was stood in the hospital room of the boy I cared so much about. Watching his pale frame lay on the sterile hospital bed, the first tear rolled down my cheek but I forced myself to hold back for Mikey's case.

"I'm gonna go find my mom," said the boy in question "I'll leave you to it." I didn't respond as I heard the soft click of the door shutting behind me.

I slumped down in a nearby chair as my eyes rain over the frail boy, I eyed the wires in his arm worryingly, remembering the conversation we had about his immense phobia of needles.

My hands started shaking as the tears I fought so hard to control reappeared and started making their way down my cheeks. I grabbed his soft hand in my own calloused one.

"I'm so sorry, Gee," I whispered, my voice unsteady and shaky.

I rubbed my thumb in steady circles over the back of his hand as I wiped my tears away with the palm of my free hand, but to no avail, tears kept falling profusely down my face as I choked in ragged gasps.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't notice, why didn't I notice?" I sobbed.

I thought back to all the times we spent together, how he had never worn short sleeves and even inside when the central heating insured the warmth of the house he always insisted he was cold.

I steadied my breathing slightly and looked down at my own forearm, mindlessly tracing a faded line near the crook of my elbow. I thought back to all the times I had done exactly what Gee had, never on quite this scale however. I had stopped when I first started playing guitar, using that as a coping mechanism rather than taking a blade to my skin.

I stared at my feet for a while, trying not to cry again, when I heard a slight murmur, my head shot up to look at my vampire. His loose grip on my hand tightened slightly and his eyes fluttered open groggily. He wiped his eyes with his free hand sleepily.

"Hey, Gee." I spoke softly.

"Hello, Frankie." He said all too casually. "What're you doing here?" He questioned, his voice scratchy and raspy, presumably from shovelling an abundance of pills down his throat.

"I was worried about you,"

"Why?" He asked as he sat up slightly.

"What'd you mean why? You tried to off yourself." I responded bluntly.

"I didn't think anyone would care." He mumbled.

Upon saying these words he seemed to notice that his arms, and in turn his scars, were completely uncovered despite presumably seeing them the very same morning. He crossed his arms tightly, pulled his knees up to his chest to cover them and rested his head on his knees, his greasy hair cascading downwards.

"I'm sorry, Frankie. I didn't think-" his words were cut off with an avalanche of sobs.

I wrapped my arms around the older Way brother and rested chin on the top of his head, I rubbed my hand up and down his back, feeling the rough material of the hospital gown he had been dressed in.

"I care, I promise. Today and always."

He lowered his knees and uncurled his arms only to re-curl them around my neck. His bony fingers gripped my hair as he shuddered out sobs into my shoulder.

"It's okay, Gee. You'll be okay."

A/N: Hi! This is fun ain't it. I swear it starts to get happier from after the next chapter, then it gets sad again but it gets better...

So how are y'all?

Bai Bai duckiez