Seoul, 2014
Min Yoongi sits cross legged on the floor, cramped next to the other members of his newly debuted band BTS, fighting over the last of the noodles on the low table in their tiny dorm. There's more food than he once had, but he still has to fight for it like he's back home with his big brother Hyun-woo.
They've been crowded into this dorm for more than a year, spending almost every waking moment together; rehearsing, writing, eating, sleeping in the same room full of bunk beds. At age 21, he's far too old to be sleeping in bunk beds like he's at summer camp, but at least he got the top bunk. Cameras seem to always be around since the debut the previous June and with the release of their first album, and all the recognition he received from music videos and tv performances. He's gotten used to them peeking into every space, invading any privacy he might have had, but sometimes he just needs to get away, to be alone, to hear the quiet of a room without the maknae arguing over whose trainers are whose and who left their towel on the bathroom floor.
Today is one of those days, too much struggle, too much work, his head is pounding. He can hear Jin and Namjoon arguing in the next room over a pair of headphones. He knows living on top of each other is a necessary economy, they aren't yet making enough money for a larger place, spending all they have and all the company has recording the new album. It will also make them closer, but it isn't always easy. He gets up from the table, leaving the others to argue over the last dumpling.
"Hyung, tell Jimin I only had two dumplings, you saw, you were sitting right next to me," Taehyung whines as Yoongi tries to step away from them.
"I wasn't counting your dumplings Taehyung." He shakes his head. "Jimin, give him the last dumpling." He grunts at the younger man. He always feels a little protective of Taehyung. Daegu boys stick together after all.
Taehyung takes the dumpling off Jimins plate, scarfing it down. Jimin looks up at Yoongi.
"Hyung where are you going?" He stares up at him.
"I need some air." He steps out of the circle and climbs over a pile of Jhope's neatly arranged clothing to get to the front door. Namjoon steps out into the hallway just as he reaches for the doorknob.
"Be back by 8:30, the journalist is coming over for a short interview session," he tells him. Namjoon is the leader, even though he's a year younger, and they joined as Trainees just a few months apart. Namjoon was first, and he fills the leader role well. He knows when Yoongi has had enough and needs some space. Normally he would sleep, or put on his headphones and tune everyone out, but today has been harder, they were at choreography practice until 2am, and had to get up early to take a meeting about the album. All he can do is grunt at Namjoon in acknowledgment.
Yoongi steps outside the door to the apartment building onto the quiet street. He looks around before pulling his cap low on his head and walking quickly. He walks in the same direction, always, towards his brothers apartment. It's more than two miles away, and sometimes he makes it all the way there, sometimes he changes his mind and walks back to the dorm. He turns the corner onto the busier street, keeping his head low. Occasionally someone stops him, recognizing him from some magazine article, but usually people in this area leave them all alone. Today he just doesn't want to be disturbed from his path. It's leading him right to a space that always makes him feel comfortable, and at home.
His brother has lived in Seoul longer than Yoongi, and when he moved here to be a trainee four years ago, he first lived in his spare room. He smiles when he thinks about that time, it was really difficult because he'd just moved in with his girlfriend Yumi. There was a lot of struggle adjusting to living with each other, and he felt like he interfered with that by being there. But the truth is, he wanted Yumi to be there. She was his first real love. He wanted to see her when he woke up and when he went to bed. Sometimes, he even imagined that it was just he and Yumi living in the apartment together. He laughs a little at himself, remembering those feelings of secret longing, keeping him up late at night pining. He stuffs his hands deep into his pockets as he walks, shoulders hunched over.
He's remembering the first poems he wrote about her, raps he couldn't bring himself to share. He was only 17 and she was three years older but already a woman. She treated him like a kid brother because that's all he could be, but it didn't stop his ache for her. His brother didn't realize he'd started dating the perfect girl. When he introduced them at the family Christmas party just before they moved to Seoul, Yoongi had stood staring at her, jaw dropped. He barely could speak words she was so beautiful, and her eyes sparkled in the candlelight of his mothers table setting. He pulls off his hat to run his hand through his dark hair, trying, unsuccessfully, not to think about her, and her perfect skin, and the smell of her perfume.
"Fuck!" he grunts out loud, frustrated with his inability to stop thinking about her. He looks around to see if anyone has noticed his outburst before he stuffs his hand back into his pocket, pulling out his mobile and dialing his brother.
"Yeah?" Hyun-woo answers quickly, "What do you want Yoongi?" he grunts. Grunting runs in the family.
"Hyung, I'm close to your apartment. Can I come over for a bit? I just need some space away from the dorm." He stops walking and looks around. He's a block from the apartment and stood in front of a chicken shop he used to frequent.
"Yeah, I'm at work still. But I think Yumi is home, go ring the bell." he says. Yoongi grows quiet thinking about when he saw her last, it might have been three months now, just after their album came out. "I've got to get back to work, see you later maybe." He hangs up and Yoongi stares at his phone, thinking. He turns back to the door of the restaurant and steps inside.
A few minutes later he reappears on the street outside carrying bags of take away. He heads straight to the apartment building with a plan. It doesn't matter that he's already eaten, he wants an excuse to see her. He raises one full hand up to ring the bell to his brothers apartment.
"Yes?" He hears her voice again, the same sultry tone that haunts his dreams still.
"Noona, it's me, Hyun-woo said I could come by for a bit. I brought dinner." He listens, hoping to hear the buzzer letting him into the space. She waits a long moment before hitting the buzzer and the sound is instant relief to him. He bounds through the door and onto the elevator. He checks his watch to see that he has three hours before he has to be back for the interview. A smile breaks across his face and he tries to stifle it as she opens the door to let him into the apartment.
"Hi Yoongi, how've you been?" she asks. She stands in front of him, wearing a silky white top and a tight black skirt, still dressed from her job at the office, so beautiful she's almost glowing. She smiles warmly as she looks him over. She leans down and takes a bag out of his hand. "Aww, you remembered, my favorite." She turns to carry the bags into the apartment and he watches her walk away, hips swaying in her tight skirt.
'I'm in trouble, again.' he thinks to himself as he shuts the door to the apartment.
YOU ARE READING
Let Me Know / BTS MYG
Fanfiction"I worship the ground you walk on," he says, forgetting himself. "I mean, I would, if you were mine," he whispers. Seoul, spring 2014. Min Yoongi is young, driven, and a star on the rise, but he can't stop thinking of his first love, who just happe...
