Let Me Know / BTS MYG

Chapter 13

A noise in the quiet room stirs him and he reaches over to find an empty space next to his body where she had been. He blinks hard against the light coming in through the window and sees her moving at the side of the bed.  He smiles at the sight of her standing in just a t shirt, legs bare. He looks down at his hand and the large blue ring and smiles at it.

"Good Morning," he whispers softly, his mouth forming a big gummy smile at her as he closes his eyes and stretches.

"Good morning Yoongi, it's almost 8," she says, not looking up.He looks back down at her and realizes she is moving clothing off the floor into her suitcase. He frowns.

"You don't have to do that now, come back to bed." He stretches out his arm to her. She stops folding and looks up at him blankly. He instantly senses something has changed. He sits up quickly in bed, pulling the cover over his naked lower half. "Why, why are you packing now? You don't have to leave, my brother is moving out," he tries to remind her. She shakes her head and continues folding clothing.

"I told you last night that I am the one leaving."

He rubs his eyes hoping to see her better. "Leaving where? Do you already have a place to go?" She puts the clothing into the suitcase and sighs, staring down for a long moment. It scares him, the idea of her being taken away when he finally has her, terrifies him. "If you don't want to be with me, just, let me know." He waits for her to continue, biting his lip, afraid of what she will say.

"My promotion- my, my new job starts Monday," she says, not meeting his eyes. He sits frozen, silent, knowing something bad is about to happen, all of the air leaves his lungs making him feel hollow. She looks up at him, embarrassed to hold his gaze. She tries to force herself to look at him. "It's in Tokyo."

The words crash down on him like a sledgehammer. He flings his body forward on the bed, letting the blanket drop from his waist as he crawls towards her, reaching out.  He sits on his knees in front of her, taking both of her small hands into his, he looks down at them, raising them to his lips he kisses them before looking up into her eyes.

"Japan?! You are moving to Japan?" he asks, but he already knows the answer. She doesn't respond and won't look at him. "You knew you were leaving and you let me pour my heart out to you?!" The tears begin to flow from his eyes and his voice grows raspy. He can see the tears form in her eyes and he raises up on his knees level with her face. He runs his hands through her hair, holding her face up, he leans in and plants sloppy kisses over her lips and her cheeks, as his fingers and his ring tangles in her long hair. He catches a tear on her cheek with his lips and he kisses it away. "Yumi, please, speak to me!" His voice is weak and pleading. She leans her body back, raising her hands to smooth his hair as she looks past him. She sighs and moves to sit beside him on the bed.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess. I'm sorry I have hurt you. I didn't want to hurt you, but I needed you. I guess I was being selfish," she says looking down ashamed. He puts his arm around her, pulling her closer.

"No, no, not selfish. You needed me, and I was here for you. I wanted you so badly Yumi, I would have done anything you asked-"

"I know," she looks up interrupting him. "That's why it was wrong of me." She runs her thumb along his pouting bottom lip, watching her finger trace a line, before she drops her hand to take his. She squeezes his hand. "I knew how you felt about me, and I wanted so badly to feel wanted, to feel desired."

"But you are, I want you, I still want you. I want to be with you," he pleads. "I know this isn't a great situation, but now that you and my brother are through, we can be together." He lets himself say the words. He lets himself think it could be true. The world feels better if he thinks it could be true. She looks up at him.

"I have already decided that I am going to take the promotion, and I'm moving to Tokyo, for good. It doesn't matter what you say, we can't work. You and I can't work. I can't be in this apartment any longer, I can't stay in this city. I just want to start over."

"Yumi, I love you," he says, quietly, wishing those simple words could make everything alright.

"A year from now you are going to be one of the most famous people in the country, maybe the world. You will have everything you've ever wanted, and you will not miss what we had last night. You won't miss me," she tells him. He shakes his head, refusing the words.

"But I still want you," he swallows hard feeling her hand slide over his, interlacing her fingers, gripping him tightly.

"We don't always get what we want, sometimes we just have to settle for something else." He can tell she doesn't believe her own words, he drops to the floor and sits at her knees, his hands around both hips he stares up into her eyes.

"You shouldn't have to settle. And I am not settling! I spent my whole life trying to get to this moment and it's all right here, I don't want to give up!" he says angry.

"You spent your whole life getting to this point in your career, and you are here at the beginning. It's all ahead of you. Let me go. Let me leave. I need this, for me." She runs her hand over his cheek and he turns his lips to kiss her palm, holding her hand to his lips for a long time. She feels the tears rolling down his cheeks and she leans down, lifting his chin to her, and kisses him softly, gently, as he sobs.

He throws his arms around her, squeezing her tightly to his body, as if for the last time. It is the last time. He knows that now. He knows that last night was all they can have. He knows that what she needs is to start again and what he needs is to find a way to get over her, once and for all. The ghost of her lingering in all his dreams and appearing in every corner of a verse he writes.

"I think you should leave now, because I'm going to cry, a lot," she tells him. He shakes his head.

"Cry with me, then I promise I will go." He pulls her body back onto the bed, wrapping her into his arms, squeezing her tightly as he feels her deep sobs begin. He kisses the top of her head, brushing her hair with his hand to soothe her ache. He lays clutching her, quietly sobbing next to her as they cry together.