When Autumn Blossoms

Chapter 5

Chapter 5
The Artist's Wish

Nakamot si Saive sa kanyang noo. Ilang beses na niyang sinubukang magsulat pero walang saysay ang umaagos sa tinta ng ballpen niya. She wanted something ... full of emotions. Na kahit simple lang sa iba, cliché man sa iba, malakas ang dating sa kanya.

Something like an art. A piece that didn't need to be adored by others, but understood on a deeper level. It didn't need to be beautiful in the traditional sense, but it needed to be meaningful.

Meaning. That's right. She lacked meaning. She was lost, and the more she thought about it, the more it became clear—she had no idea what her life's happenings were meant for. All the moments, all the struggles, the fleeting successes, and the endless failures—what were they all really for? That was the question that consumed her. It was what she needed to find. Meaning. Without it, everything felt empty. And so, she searched, in her writing, in her life, for that elusive sense of purpose that could finally fill the void.

Napabuntong-hininga siya at napatingin sa bintana. Natanaw niya ang mapulang kalangitan. Napangiti siya at napatingin sa mapulang rosas na inilagay niya sa vase. The rose that Khalil gave her earlier.

I will always remember you.

Tumayo siya at nilapitan iyon. Inamoy niya ang halimuyak nito. She liked it. Kinuha niya iyon. Pumunta siya sa desk at kumuha ng gunting. Tinanggal niya lahat ng tinik ng tangkay nito.

She was actually like that. She would mind something so bare and plain. Kahit mga simpleng bagay ay palagay niya malaki ang impact sa kanya.

There were times she would trace the ants' paths and felt amazed how they worked cooperatively. Or picked some meaningless rocks, then tossed it on the bridge one by one. O kaya naman ay manonood siya ng movie na may masamang review. O magbasa ng libro simula dulo hanggang simula. Nasubukan na rin niyang mag-bangs manually, na lubos niyang pinagsisihan. Nabilang na niya ang butas ng SkyFlakes. Mahilig siyang bumili ng bird pet, pakakawalan iyon sa daan, at kukunan ng litrato ang paglipad nito palayo.

Kahit gaano man kababaw ang mga gawaing iyon, malalim ang epekto nito sa kanya. Because, once and for all, all those silly activities had meanings to her.

Pero ang kahulugang iyon ay wala na. Naglaho ito na parang alikabok na tinangay ng hangin patungo sa alapaap ng pagkalimot.

Napatingin siya sa kanyang bracelet. For six days, she needed that meaning to bloom, again.

***

Napabuntong-hininga si Khalil. Nasa rooftop siya ngayon ng villa at malayang tinatanaw ang papalubog na araw. Tanawin na hindi siya magsasawang tignan kailanman.

For him, the way how the flame of the setting sun spread like wildfire in the surface of the calm ocean, was magical. The ocean glistened that reminded him of luxurious jewelries. On top of that, he could see the silhouettes of birds flying, soaring, like they got all the freedom of this world. Sa bawat pagaspas ng mga pakpak nila ay sumasabay sa paglipad ang kanyang isipan, diwa at kaluluwa.

Why do sunsets have to be that beautiful when it's about to end anyway?

He didn't know.

Why do the birds fly away happily when they are in fact flying away from their homes?

Again, he didn't know.

He had a lot of questions, and honestly, he didn't have the answers to most of them. But strangely, he didn't mind. He liked that. The fact that he was just another person, not expected to know everything or have all the answers, made him feel... human. Some things were just meant to stay unanswered, and that was fine.

Napakunot ang noo niya nang may masilayan siyang bulto ng babae na naglakad papunta sa dalampasigan. It was Saive, the girl from room 333.

Hindi siya kumurap, itinuon niya lang ang kanyang tingin sa bawat kilos ng dalaga. For the first time, he was distracted from watching his favorite sunset. And it was because of a woman—one who was even more captivating than the view itself.

Napailing siya nang muli na namang kumabog ang dibdib niya. Isang pakiramdam na kilang-kilala niya, dahil minsan na rin siyang binaliw ng mga kabog na iyon.

At ang mga nakababaliw na kabog, pagbaliktad ng sikmura, panlalamig ng kalamnan; muli iyong nabuhay sa kanya.

Nagtaka siya nang mapansin niyang may inilabas ang dalaga. Isang notepad. Kahit may kalayuan ay napagtanto niya pa ring nagsusulat iyon ng kung ano.

"Is she a writer?" 

Napalingon si Khalil nang may marinig siyang nagsalita sa kanyang gilid. He was too focused on the view to notice the new comer. Napailing lang si Khalil sa lalake.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Alec, by the way," pagpapakilala ng bagong dating.

"Khalil."

"Ang ganda, noh?" tanong ni Alec habang nakatanaw sa harapan.

"Exactly."

"The sunset, or her?"

Khalil grinned. "Both. Maybe."

He heard him chuckled. "That kind of view ... that's how I paint back then ... full of life, beauty, and impact."

Napalingon siya ulit kay Alec. "Are you a painter?"

"I was. And I want to become again; but this time in a different way, different form."

"What do you mean? Did you perhaps stop?"

Napatango lang ang lalake. "I did stop. That's why I'm here, to find that restart. How about you?"

Nagkibit-balikat si Khalil. "I'm lost in a labyrinth."

Alec nodded. "So ... you're a writer." It was not a query, but a factual statement.

Khalil laughed a little. He was amazed. "Uhm, maybe? How can you say so?"

"Just a hunch. There's something in you that's screaming 'I'm a freakin' writer!' And who else who use the word labyrinth cassually?"

Nagtawanan sila. Napatingin siya sa bracelet nito. It was the same with his. An arrow pointing to the left, with one dot in color red, and number 4.

"Kararating mo pa lang?" tanong niya dahil hindi pamilyar sa kanya ang mukha nito.

"Yup. A five-day vacation." Itinuro niya si Saive. "Actually kasabay ko siya."

"Saive. Her name is Saive." Alec nodded after getting the information.

Silence enveloped them. Napatingin na lang sila pabalik sa tanawin na nakahain sa kanilang harapan.

Napaarko ang kilay ni Khalil nang makita niyang tumayo na si Saive mula sa pagkakaupo. Itinaas nito ang kanyang notepad at pinunit ang iilang pahina. Sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari, itinapon niya iyon sa ere at hinayaang tangayin ng ihip ng hangin.

Ano ang drama niya?

Napatawa siya nang marahang nagpa-ikot-ikot ito habang nakahawak sa dulo ng kanyang dress. Tinanggal nito ang tali ng kanyang buhok kaya malaya nang sumasayaw ang kanyang buhok, sumasabay sa bawat pag-indak niya. Wala itong pag-aalinlangan na sumayaw kasabay ang kawalan, sa pag-aakalang siya lang ang naroroon at walang nakakakita sa kanya.

Wala siyang ideya na ang mga matang nakatitig pala sa kanyang bawat kilos ay halos hindi na kumurap. Napakagat-labi si Khalil at napahigpit ng kapit sa railing.

In front of the setting sun, surrounded by falling autumn leaves, Saive was like something out of a dream—floating, shining, full of life. He'd never seen anyone so alive before.

Nakita niyang tumigil si Saive sa pag-indak at tinungo ang mas mataas na bahagi ng dalampasigan. She looked up and spreaded her arms. Like the birds above her, she was soaring so high, so free.

And in that moment, he knew that the sunset would be jealous of her.

"Sometimes," the man beside him spoke but he never tore his gaze to Saive, "an artist, also becomes the art itself. And that's what I want to become."

Khalil nodded in agreement. "And writers ... for once ... also want... to become the whole story."