Lie Down My Damon

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I'm not his daughter.

That thought keeps on echoing inside my mind. I almost thought that it's him, the man in the story. The man of Tiya Rosa's tale always telling me. But no, I didn't entertain that thought that much because a part of me was still doubting.

I don't know when how to react to the new things I have discovered about my self and my family. I'm not a real part of their family. So that explains why I'm always afraid when he's going near me, when why I would suddenly feel the heavy atmosphere when he's around.

I'm not really belong to them.

His eyes were screaming high ambition and authority. He sees the world like it's his own, and I can clearly see the confidence on his face. It's as if he has a power to reached his own delusions while looking down to people.

I think, based on what I've seen on my past memory, he's not just a normal person. He really has a power! I think, he's a demon! But why would he offer me a help to be hidden? To trick me?

He's planning something, that's for sure.

All those years, the family I've been with for a long time lied to me. I felt like I was caged for a long time, without even knowing it. Some part of my memories were still missing, but I'm starting to remember a bit of it. I love them but... they fooled me.

It saddens me to remember Tiya Rosa. She didn't do anything to help me. She even helped him! They betrayed me! They are a family, the real family, so I should really expect it! I think, they're talking about the ritual, and they were preparing for it. Maybe that was the ritual Tiya Harriet mentioned to me, that is if I'm not really mistaking.

And at this point, I just don't know who to trust anymore.

Nasa dilim muli ako, kasama ang libro. Walang kahit na ano ang makikita rito, walang kabuhay-buhay at pakirandam ko talaga ay nasa panaginip lang ako, ngunit alam kong hindi. Naipilig ko ang ulo nang may maalala. Hindi pa ako natatapos dito.

Si GS...

Alam kong marami rin siyang hindi sinasabi. Masiyado siyang maraming alam para sa isang kakilala lang at hindi niya man lang naisip na itago ang bagay na 'yon sa akin. Alam kong hindi rin siya basta lang, na maraming tinatago ang nangungusap niyang mga mata na hindi namumutawi sa kaniyang bibig.

Masiyado lang akong komportable kapag nakakasama siya pero nagagawa ko pa ring mapansin ang ilang bagay sa kaniya. Pero pakirandam ko, sapat na ang titigan ang mga mata niya at walang tanong na kailangan pang masagot!

Naipilig kong muli ang ulo.

Nasisilip ko na ang ilang bahagi sa ala-ala ko noong bata pa lamang ako ngunit malabo pa 'yon upang makita ko nang maayos! Pero kahit na ganon, dahil dito ay pakirandam ko, hawak kamay ko na ang lahat-pwede ko nang malaman ang lahat. Kailangan ko lang na magpatuloy.

Hindi pa rin nagbabago ang kagustuhan kong bumalik sa mansiyon. Gusto ko pa ring balikan si Tiya at hingin ang paliwanag niya. Paano nga kung napipilitan lang siya? At hindi niya talaga gusto ang ginagawa?

Itinuring niya akong anak sa mahabang panahon kaya't may natitira pa ring parte sa aking naniniwala sa kaniya. Sanay ay hindi ako nagkakamali. Magkikita pa kami at siya na mismo ang nagsabi. Nakagat ko ang ibabang labi. Hindi ko mapigilang mag-alala sa isiping 'yon.

Lumapat ang mata ko sa libro. If I really want the truth then, I should embrace it. I should not let my self to be fooled again, this supposed to be my light and guide to be able see in the dark. To the truth, I won't let my self be blind by it just because it is hard for me to believe or accept it.