Absolutely GONE (paused)

CH8

****Shoutout to @HaroldsSunFarm your comments make me laugh :)****

LILLY:

Emptiness, something so confusing. I don't feel sad, I don't feel angry, and I don't feel scared. It's as if the past hour has washed everything away and now I feel nothing. The trauma of seeing Marissa's body lying cold and dead on the porch, or the anxiety of knowing I'll be controlled for god only knows how long, has all just vanished.

When Harry told me to go back upstairs from the basement I went straight to my room, being careful to not be seen by anyone. I cried but then it stopped. I guess my body just couldn't handle it anymore, all the things constantly running around my mind.

I'm currently laying in my bed where only a few hours ago Marissa was sleeping.

I am Just thinking about all of the possible outcomes of this situation I'm in.

I have no doubt that I will probably end up dead at the end of whatever this is.

What kind of work does Harry do? He killed Marissa with no remorse. It was like he didn't care about it at all. To be that numb while ending a life, he must do this very often. And same with the other boys, because they had no reactions either.

A knock at the door breaks me from my thoughts. I sit up on the bed and in walks Lissa. "Hey, good morning sleepy head!" she laughs.

It's around 11 in the afternoon now.

She walks over and sits next to me on the bed.

"Yeah I slept in a bit" I lie.

"Well, breakfast is here, everyone's in the kitchen eating" she tells me.

"Oh okay, umm, yeah let's go then" I hesitate to say.

I stand up with her and we head to the kitchen. My hands are already sweating, and my cheeks are turning red. My heart rate picks up, but I pretend everything is fine, just like I was told. All my numbness just turned into anxiety in the blink of an eye. And just like that it's all back again.

When we turn the corner to get into the kitchen I see everyone sitting around the large kitchen table, conversing around with each other.

My eyes immediately roam over to find Harry's. He gives me a stern look before returning to eating his food.

Then my eyes find Louis, he gives me a quick glance and then continues talking to Liam.

"Oh, Lilly, there you are!" Lacey say to me. "Come sit" she pats the empty seat next to her.

I do as she requests and go sit next to her.

"So! We were just talking about how we're going to the club later." she tells me excitedly.

"Oh, thats fun!" I say trying to match her energy.

"Yes! And you get to come see what we do for work!" she says.

That's right, I totally forgot, they never really told me what they do for work. I remember when I first met Lissa that night of the concert, and she very vaguely told me that they do "fun" stuff.

"What do you guys do for work? You never told me." I ask

"Wait I thought Lissa told you. Did she not?" she asks me surprised.

"No, she told me something about you being 'arm candy' for the boys but nothing more than that" I tell her.

"Oh, we're strippers, well used to be anyways. Now we just do things in public with the boys for the paparazzi. None of it is real but it keeps the attention away from their work." She says casually.