𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐲 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐨𝐩 / 𝘬. 𝘬𝘰𝘻𝘶𝘮𝘦

𝐂𝐡. 𝟐𝟏

Kenma was buried in his covers, his eyes shut tight. These past few days his mind had become rabid, he didn't do anything he just laid in bed. He didn't want to do anything for that matter. He couldn't stop thinking about you, and what he did or what he could've said to make you understand that he didn't mean it. He wondered if he should continue to call...

'Why would they want you to continue to call?'

'You're being annoying.'

He subconsciously thought, a sigh left his lips. He was honestly a mess, he knew almost every person had thoughts like these. But for some reason he didn't know why but his felt so loud, he'd give the world to stop and just be free without hearing all this nonsense about himself that he knew wasn't true, but then again he had his doubts...he had his doubts a ton.

Kenma heard his phone vibrate, he assumed it was Kuroo trying to check in again. He didn't want to hear it, he didn't want to hear anything. Kenma knew his parents would stop humoring his little sick act, I mean he was surprised they even let it continue for this long. He hadn't minded it though, he didn't want to go to school either.

Kenma didn't feel like doing much anymore.

And Kenma knew he was going to regret this, like how he regretted many things like any normal human should. Kenma heard the vibration of his phone come to an end, he turned to his side and looked at his phone. The screen bright and shined in his eyes making him squint,

One Missed Call From Kuro.

He wished Kuro would stop caring. Or maybe Kuroo didn't care? Kenma felt a pit in his stomach and turned off his phone, he sighed and hid his face in his pillow. It was weird he wanted to scream, but at that same time, he wanted to cry?

But Kenma wasn't a big fan of crying. Even after the argument with you, that was the first time he felt his eyes water and he hated it. He didn't care for the feeling of it, and he never wanted to feel it again. Besides, Kenma wasn't the type to cry...he couldn't find himself crying in any scenarios where it was sad..sad enough that he wanted to cry too. Another vibrate echoed the still silence, it was the only sound that echoed. He didn't have any games on, nothing. The room was a mess, it was dark, besides the small light that peeked through his shut blinds but his bed covers were lazily pulled over him yet his feet uncovered.

Kenma didn't want to hear the vibrating sound. So he closed his and started to think of something, he didn't know what. Nowadays his mind would always just downgrade him and make him feel sick, he couldn't help but think that maybe his subconscious thoughts were right. If Kenma wasn't in his state he'd probably think this was stupid, he just yelled at you he should get over it. But it was because it was you, Kenma never felt how he felt then with anyone else but you. He could almost thank you, thank you for all the love that you gave him, thank you for the heart that you shared. Then again that was complicated, you didn't want to speak to him.

'All your fault.'

Another subconscious feeling. That always seemed to come back, Kenma thought that one was true. This wouldn't have happened if he just called, or something if he made time for you instead of blowing you off. Perhaps you were right, maybe he liked the feeling of being in love and he wasn't ready to reciprocate those feelings. Kenma then opened his eyes, he felt nauseous again. This was Kenma's fault, wasn't it?

Kenma doesn't know how many times he wished this would stop, possibly forty times. Even more, and count this one. God, did he wish he'd just stop thinking about you and everyone else...he just wanted to be free. Free from what exactly? He guessed the feeling of being so trapped, or the feeling of wanting everyone to just leave him alone. He wanted to be free from all of his thoughts and so much more, and he'd give anything just to forget what he did and to stop feeling the way he felt.

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