"I want to leave here, but something tells me to stay." A Tommy angst

5

⚠️ !! WARNING !! ⚠️

su!c!dal thoughts, manipulation

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The way back to Pogtopia was filled with many thoughts, I was thinking of just going back to them. I mean, I missed them a lot and maybe they could be right.. No. They aren't right. They just don't understand why Wilbur did this stuff, I just didn't listen. It's normal, right? It seems normal, if you don't listen you get the results of that.

I sighed and opened the door and headed down the stairs, Wilbur was there waiting to greet me. "Where were you Tommy?" I quickly respond to make it seem more real "I went out for mining!" I pulled out the ores I mined "I wanted to make up for before, since I didn't get enough" he smiled softly and took the ores from my hand and headed to one of his chests "Thank you, Tommy. These will come to use"

he looked back at me and said "I've heard Schlatt is doing an event soon, I thought that would be the perfect time for our little plan. What do you think, Tommy?" Not wanting to start anything today I respond "If the event goes south, then yes. Let's do it.." He walked closer to me "What do you mean 'go south?' it's his event, he would make sure it doesn't go south." I looked away from him as responded "I feel like he'll do something, I don't know.. I mean he's Schlatt he always has something up his sleeve." I looked back at him "Tommy, even if he does something. It won't involve us, unless you care for those people still." I shiver a little and try to reassure him "I don't care about them anymore, they're wrongens-" he grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him "You are such a bad liar, I know you still care about them. Just Let go, Tommy, you know damn well they don't care. I've told you this so many times.. just get it in your head."

He left me thinking about it again, they really don't care. But Tubbo and Quackity visited so they have to care. No, it could be a scheme for Schlatt and they just lied to me.. yeah maybe Will is right.. They don't care, they never did. "I guess you're right.. you always are, sorry for doubting you." He smiled not a genuine smile, more of a sinister one. "Thank you for listening" he hugged me softly and walked away.

I thought about me as a person, Why am I here? Why is this happening to me? I'm only 16 right? I should be doing things kids do..? Not this? Or maybe this is just my life now, maybe I deserve this somehow. I just want it to end, I want to go back to the older times... what if I just left one day, would anyone care that I was gone? Probably not... Maybe I'll do that, it's not like I matter in this life.

Stop, I need to stop thinking these things. People would care, Wilbur would care at least. I cant do that, I cant leave Will alone. I walked to my room, sat on my bed and looked at the ceiling, whatever happens I can't just give up, Will wouldn't want that. He needs me still.. Yeah. I wonder about the event Schlatt is doing, I know he's going to do something.. I don't want them to get hurt, even if they don't care they still are important to me.. but Wilbur also said to let go. God why do I have to be so difficult..

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I am so so so sorry about this chapter coming out so late and also for it being a shorter one. I really am sorry, I promise I'll post more I just haven't had as much motivation recently and also with the holidays I focused on that more. Anyways, I hope you all had a good Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or whatever holiday you celebrate! And hey, if you didn't celebrate I hope you had a good week :)

-Love, Liv