(NSFW?? I mean I guess it depends how it goes I just thought it was funny- also they are obviously aged up if they can drink lmao)
Kenma answered on the second ring and Akaashi hadn't even given him a chance for a greeting before he started to demand answers.
"What just came in the mail today? And why is it in my name? I never ordered this. I don't even know what this is!"
Kenma on the other end raised a brow before continuing his game. "Well, did you open it?"
There was a slight pause and Kenma could hear a slight ruffle. "I did."
"So what is it?"
Akaashi huffed as he turned to the mirror, managing to balance his phone on his shoulder. "I think you're supposed to wear it?"
Kenma had to stop himself from snorting, now realizing what Akaashi had ordered. But only because he was there when it happened. "Then you obviously ordered clothes."
"No- Kenma I never ordered this. At least I don't remember ordering it? And it's not even wearable?" The poor man sounded more confused than ever.
"If it's clothes how is it not wearable?"
"It's string! It's just a bunch of string!" Akaashi burst, waving the item around even though Kenma wasn't there to see.
And at that point, he couldn't hold back his laughter, forced to pause his game.
Akaashi's eyes narrowed. "You know what it is," it was more of a statement than a question. "Did you order this?!"
"No! You ordered it yourself," Kenma immediately denied.
"What? When?!"
Another laugh. "Like last week I think? It was when we were out for drinking and you were totally drunk, going on about how Bokuto was ignoring you for Kuroo," the setter explained, waving his hand around.
Akaashi remembered that. It was rather embarrassing but it didn't explain whatever he was holding. "So I ordered string because...?"
"It's lingerie," Kenma clarified bluntly, hearing an immediate yelp that sent him into a giggling fit.
Suddenly the soft lace Akaashi was hold made much more sense as he dropped it. "And you let me order it?!" He shouted into the phone suddenly glad Bokuto was out for the day.
"You seemed very happy with your choice! I didn't let you overspend! And you said it would give you Bokuto's attention!" Kenma shouted- much softer- attempting to defend himself.
"Kenma I was drunk! Bokuto-san gives me plenty of... attention. I don't need this!"
"Look at the time you were very sure that's what you needed and it's not my fault you don't remember ordering it."
"I can't even send it back!"
"Just use it."
Akaashi glared at his feet where the lingerie rest. "Nope," he stated bluntly picking it back up and stomping to the bathroom.
"What're you gonna do?" Kenma asked curiously.
"I can't throw it out so I'll just hide it later till I figure out what to do with it." Akaashi dropped it in the empty bathtub, deciding that until he found a spot than the tub would be good. "It even came with a bonus! Can you believe that?" He asked scrunching his face.
Kenma was trying not to laugh again. "Wh-what was the bonus?" He questioned in a slight giggle.
Akaashi paused, debating admitting that he now had this thing in his possessions. "A collar. Or choker. I honestly don't know the difference," he stated bluntly going back into the bedroom to get rid of the packaging he tore through.
Kenma nearly fell off his chair with the amount he was laughing. And then he cleared his through sitting up, only to tease Akaashi once more. "The collar alone will get Bokuto's attention I'm willing to bet on it."
"Don't tempt me to block you," Akaashi threatened only getting a laugh in return.
And then he continued on with his day, talking with Kenma and finishing up whatever he had planned to do that day. The only problem was that leaving it in the tub meant leaving it out of sight. And therefore completely forgetting about it.
That is until Bokuto got home.
