how do you live so happily while i am sad and broken?

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                           January 6th, 8:15pm

"Finally leaving." Ellen said smiling, "Finally." Patrick said getting his stuff ready to leave the next morning, they had been there a week and we're ready to go, it was hard for Ellen to leave, thats where she got the best news and worse news of her life.  Her baby was born there, both of them, all 5 of them actually, but thats also where she got the news that she lost her dad, all these happy and sad emotions circled her head, she stared out into space for longer than she could remember. "Hey honey you gonna lay down?" Patrick asked trying to snap her out of the trance she was in, he knew what it was about. "Yea- yes, i am, im sorry." Ellen said "dont apologize. Especially when you have nothing to apologize about." Patrick said holding her hand, "I love you Ellie." Patrick said, "I love you too Paddy." Ellen said. They had been busy for so long that they hadnt really taken time to themselves, of course they had the trailer at work, the house with sleeping kids at night, but they hadnt been alone for a while, with no worries in the world. They needed that. "Hey El, what do you say we have my mom come out and watch the kids at the end of February, we can go to a hotel and just relax without anybody." Patrick said, "I would love to. But right now, we have kids to get home to. So lets go to sleep to make it faster." Ellen said laughing a little, "youre right. Goodnight " Patrick said. They both dozed off to sleep and it was the first night they werent woken by Charlotte.

January 7th 10:12am
"Are you ready?" Patrick said smiling in the door way holding Charlottes carseat, "Aw let me get a picture." Ellen said laughing, she took the picture and smiled at it. "Now im ready." Ellen said linking arms with Patrick. They got down to their car, put the baby in and made their way home. Ellen sat in the backseat with Charlotte just to make sure she was Okay. They pulled into the driveway of their house which it felt like they hadnt seen in forever, "Feels good to be back already." Patrick said as he got out of the car, he grabbed the bags out of the trunk and Ellen grabbed Charlotte. They walked to the front door and they were greeted by Justin, "Hi!" Ellen said smiling, "Hi El! Hi Charlotte!" Justin said as Ellen walked in, "Patricks grabbing bags, im gonna go help him." Ellen said setting down Charlotte, "No you wont. Go upstairs and lay down, ill go help him. All the kids are still sleeping, Darby and Sullivan kept eachother up all night, Juliette heard them so she was up to. And Talula was too excited to sleep." Justin said, "Yea the boys do that alot. We need to seperate them for sure. Thats why we bought a 7 bedroom house, so they could all have their own room plus a guest room." Ellen said laughing, "Damn straight!" Justin said as he walked outside to help Patrick, "Hey Patrick, how are you?" Justin asked grabbing a bag out of the trunk, "Im Okay. But Ellie isnt. Shes trying to act like she is, and shes doing a damn good job. But i know shes not." Patrick said. "What? She seemed so happy when i was in there. Shes upstairs with Charlotte right now. She seemed happy?" Justin said, "I know she did. She always does, until shit hits the fan and shes not. I just feel so bad for her. I wish i could make her the happiest person on earth." Patrick said getting teary eyed, "Patrick. You do, you do make her the happiest person on earth. You are her escape from the world. I remember before you got married and you were still with your ex she came into my trailer, super late at night, she was crying and she said, "Justin, he makes my heart stop. Whenever im with him, i feel free. I feel like nothing else is happening. When i look at him i feel like im home. I love him, but i cant. My heart beats for him but it cant. I wish i could tell him, but he has a wife. And a beautiful daughter, but everytime i see him i just want to breakdown because i know i cant be with him." That is how much she loves you Patrick. She would give the world for you, you are her home." Justin said, "I gotta go upstairs. Ill be back to take these in." Patrick ran upstairs and saw Ellen, laying in bed. With tears streaming down her face, holding Charlotte on her chest. "Come here el." Patrick said setting Charlotte in her bassinet that was by their bed.

"Whats wrong?" Patrick asked, even though he knew. "I miss my dad." Ellen said between cries, "I know El. I know." He said squeezing her a little tighter. They just stood there, and hugged, for a long time. Until she practically cried herself to sleep in his arms. He layed her down on the bed, and went outside to grab his the rest of his bags, he was trying to hold back tears the whole time, he hated seeing her like that. As he opened the door, there was justin, sitting on the front step. "Hey, I know you probably want me to leave, but i just wanted to talk to you quick. Take a seat." Justin said, "Okay." patrick said sitting down, "If you and Ellen need time to yourselves, just with Charlotte, me and Keisha can watch the kids. All our kids are out of the house and we get bored, i already asked her and she said it would be fine. Its up to you." Justin said, "Yea, that would be nice." Patrick said, "Ellen, she- she really loves you Patrick. I dont know how else to explain it. I knew her before the show, and she has been a totally different person ever since you walked into that audition room 7 years ago. Her heart really does beat for you, even when shes broken and damaged, you are her light. You make her smile more then Ive ever seen anyone else make her smile. And your 5 beautiful kids you have together, they are the light of her life. I know shes going through a rough time, i know all of you are. Just make sure you remind her how much you love her." Justin said, "Thank you Justin. Thank you for everything you do for us, i couldn't thank you enough." Patrick said, "Anytime P. How long do you want us to have the kids?" Justin asked, "Minimum 3 days, they need to get back on track too. But ill let you know if we need more time." Patrick said, "Okay man, sounds good. Let me know if you need anything else." Justin said, "We will bring them by tomorrow, I think El needs to see them for a little bit." Patrick said, "Okay. Let me know when youre on your way." Justin said smiling, "Thank you Justin, i seriously cant thank you enough." Patrick said, "Anytime." Justin said getting in his car.

"Hi Honey, I brought you some coffee." Patrick said as he walked into their master bedroom, "Thank you." Ellen said, "I love you Ellie. I love you so much, more then you could ever know." Patrick said pulling her in for a hug, "Patrick youre gonna make me cry again!" Ellen said laughing a little bit wiping her tears, "Justin offered to have the kids for a couple days just so we can get on our feet." Patrick said, "Oh thats so nice of him, hes the best." Ellen said, "Yea he really is. I told him i would bring them by tomorrow because i figured you would wanna see them." Patrick said, "Yea I do, Tal is in the shower and the boys are talking to eachother in their crib, but i was too much of a mess to go get them." Ellen said, "I can go get them. And Juliette." Patrick said, "Okay, thank you." Ellen said, "Hey boys! We're home!" Patrick said walking into the twins room, "Dad!!" They both said, Patrick took them out of their crib, changed them, and let them play while he got Juliette ready. "Hi J!" Patrick said taking Juliette out of her crib, she couldnt quite talk yet but she got so excited when she saw him. Juliette was definitely a mommys girl, but I think after she met Charlotte she got jealous. Juliette came out with Patrick wearing a white mustard yellow dress with a white T-shirt underneath, the boys wore striped t shirts and ripped jeans, and Talula wore a flowy longsleeve dress. "Wow! You all are adorable!" Ellen said as her 4 kids + Patrick walked into their master bedroom, "I missed you mom." Talula said hugging Ellen, "I miss you too baby." Ellen said, They boys couldn't help but climb all over Ellen. "Slow your role boys, mommy needs to be careful!" Patrick said, "Darby and Sullivan wanna go play downstairs?" Talula asked, "Yea!" They both yelled as they ran down the stairs, "Ill go feed J." Patrick said as he followed them downstairs, "Can you grab Charlottes bottle out of the fridge? I pumped this morning and put them there." Ellen asked, "Sure." Patrick said.



wow longest chapter yet i think! i hope you guys liked this chapter! i usually do 1200 word chapters, but im thinking of making them longer! lmk if you think i should and any ideas if you have any! ❤️❤️

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