A Boyfriend For Christmas.

Chapter 19.

december 21st.

daniel wasn't home so i was able to come to christians for a little bit.

i mean i could come whenever i want but it was just better to come when he was out of the house.

his mom let's me in.

"hi honey, christians upstairs".

i smile at her.

"thank you".

moving past her i make my way up the stairs.

knocking on his door i hear him,

"come in"

opening and closing the door behind me, i see him playing a game on his computer.

"hey you", i say walking up to him putting my arms over his shoulders.

"there's my favorite girl", he says looking up at me.

i kiss his face.

"what are you playing?", i ask sprawling myself onto his bed, ending up on my stomach.

"just among us with some friends".

i nod and take out my phone and text lindy back.

"so...", he starts.

"so?", i say.

he turns in his chair and looks at me.

"we're having a christmas party tomorrow, do you want to come?", he asks.

i smile.

"of course", i say.

how was it going to be with daniel there though?

was it going to be awkward?

will he give us the cold shoulder?

"babe?", christian snaps me from my thoughts.

"y-yeah?", i ask coming back down to earth.

"do you wanna match?"

i sit up and move to sit criss cross.

"what we're you thinking?"

he thinks for a second.

"gold?", he asks.

i nod my head.

"that works".

he smiles leaning forward and kissing me slowly.

-

we're in the living room watching the grinch when the door opens.

we both look up at the door and see daniel already looking at us.

"what's going on?", he asks.

christian is the one that speaks.

"just watching a movie".

daniel nods and his eyes lock on mine.

i quickly look back at the tv.

"did you get an outfit for tomorrow?", christian continues.

"yeah, that's where i was", he says dryly.

i don't speak, i just sit there.

"i'll be up in my room", he says.

i finally look at him as he walks away.

christian sighs next to me.

"that will never not be awkward", i say looking at him.

he squeezes me leg.

"i'm sorry".

i shakes my head.

"just something to get used to".

he smiles at me pulling me into him.

-

the sun is setting when i decide to leave.

christian walks me out.

"thank you having me for dinner", i tell him.

he hugs me.

"i'll see you tomorrow, okay?", he says.

i nod kissing his cheek.

i pull away from him, i smile.

"goodnight, jessica".

goodnight, christian".

i start walking home.

letting my thoughts consume me again.

everything is all so complicated.

i liked christian i really do, but four years was such a long time to be with someone.

was i really over daniel?

or was i just settling for christian?

i had think hard about this because winter break is almost over and i don't know whether i'll end up with or without a boyfriend.