Losing game (Levi x reader)

Gone

Levi Pov:
I was almost completely composed when I reached the wall, on the outside that is. On the inside my heart was aching. My thoughts were blurring reality and what I wished reality would be. When they opened the gate, I could have swore I'd seen Petra standing inside, waiting to congratulate me on the mission like always.

But she wasn't there, she would never be there again.

I took chestnut to the stables and held up my facade in case anyone sees me. Not many of the scouts are here but I don't want to risk it. I leave the stables and begin the trek to my quarters. What seemed like such a short distance away is now a gruelingly long walk. With each step I take, my body threatenes to break down, but I can't do that, I need to stay strong.

At least until I close the door to my office.

I rattle my keys in the lock until the big spruce door opens. I carefully shut it and fall to my knees. The full reality of the day hitting me at once.

"Petra...Petra...petra...pe..Petra" I repeat her name over and over again, as if saying it enough would bring her back.

But there's nothing in this world that could do that. I saw it with my own eyes, she's gone. Flashbacks of earlier shoot through my head. Images of what her body looked like in her final moments seared through my skull.

I put my head in my knees and let out a few sobs. But sadness is not the only emotion i feel. I'm also angry. I'm angry at myself for not being strong enough to save her, and I'm angry at the titan that took her away from me.

I get up on my feet and walk over to my desk. The framed photo of my squad and I sitting exactly where I left it. I followed every face until I got to hers. She was smiling bright and looking at me.

Why did I wait so long to tell her how I felt. Looking back at this picture it had to have been mutual. She must have wanted to tell me too. I brought my arm up and threw the frame at the wall. It bounced off and shattered when
It met the floor. The breaking of the glass was the only noise in the room. It was silent, not even the sound of my suffering could be heard.

"Captian?" A small voice says

Y/n Pov:

I was cleaning the bathroom, the chemicals burning my eyes, when I heard the door to captain Levi's office shut. Who was here? Don't they know Levi's on a mission. I set down my rag and pull the cloth down from my nose. I guess I better go tell them he's not here. I made my way through his bedroom to the door that leads to his office. I crack the door to get a glimpse of who was here. I never in a million years would have expected to see what was behind the door.

Captain Levi was on the floor, his head in his knees. He was choking out deep sobs. He sounded like a dying animal. What the hell happened to him? I thought I would never see him showing any emotion, let alone crying. Something really fucked up must have happened. Suddenly he stands up and his face is back to its emotionless state.

He walked over to his desk and looked down at something. He cracked a small but sad smile and picked up a picture frame. He looked at it for a few minutes. I just stood there watching him, too scared to make my appearance known. His face twisted a little, into what I assumed was anger. He threw the frame at the wall and watched it ricochet to the floor, landing right in front of me. I finally saw the picture that lived inside the gold frame.

It was a picture of the captain and his squad. His arm was draped over Petras and she was looking at him with love shining in her eyes. I look back up at him and he's staring at the wall. 

"Captian?" I say softly. He looks at me in the doorframe, and his puffy eyes meet mine.