BestSelf {book 2}

14.

"It's just like every time things are starting to get better .. here comes some more bs" I was talking to my mother about the whole Keenan situation.

"Yeah he kinda loss me with this one Ti, normally I'm on Keenan's side but why does he have to press the situation so much? Like I get it but why" My mother said.

Her response somewhat makes me feel better because now I know I'm not overreacting to this whole them becoming friends again.

"That makes me feel better" I said to her "what have the girls said?" She asked

"Lani and Skylar thinks I should leave the both of them alone while Cassie and Kendall thinks I should just talk to him"

"I agree with Cassie and Kendall" she spoke

"Ma I'm just so tired of talking , like some times I just wanna crawl into a hole and never come out , why am I so stressed at the age of 19!!!!" I felt myself starting to tear up

"It's all apart of growing up Ti, we've had this conversation times and times again. It sucks and it hurts I know but it's all apart of your journey to becoming the woman you were always meant to be" her words always make me feel better.

"When's your next appointment with Doctor Jordan?" She asked

"Wednesday" I answered "good, because it sounds like you need her more than anything right now, I love seeing you come home happy from your sessions .. it makes me feel like I made the right decision as a parent"

"What do you mean?" I asked

"You know how some kids tend to feel betrayed by their parents when they try to put them into therapy?"

"Ohhh yeah, I mean at first I will say it did throw me off a bit but at the same time I wouldn't of been feeling better if you and dad never decided to do it so for that I thank you guys"

She started smiling and tearing up "I just wish I could've protected you more like taken you out of school after the whole hospital situation , I feel like I really could've prevented this if I woulda just went with my gut" she said

"Please don't blame yourself for anything that's happened to me . None of it is your fault . I was persistent , I wanted to stay on campus and be with my friends" I told her

"I know I just sometimes feel like I should've been more stern, getting that phone call from Keenan was a night I don't think I'll ever forget"

"I know .. trying to move on has been a hard process but baby steps right?"

"Right."

I left my moms room and went back into mine where Kendall was still sleeping.

I laid down next to her and got on my phone to see that I had a good amount of missed calls and text messages from Keenan.

I called him and he answered after one ring

"Hey Ti"

"Hey .."

"Are you done being mad at me?" He asked

"No" I said blatantly

"It's really that serious Ti?"

"And are you really that slow Keenan?"

He sighed, "I just wish for once you wasn't making this about yourself" before he could even finish that sentence I hung up the phone.

I got out of my bed , threw on a pair of sweatpants with a T-shirt , put my tennis on, grabbed my car keys and phone then headed out of my house making my way to Keenan's.