BestSelf {book 2}

16.

"I think it's good that you made the decision you felt was best for you for once" Doctor Jordan said to me.

"I can't believe all of this went down within a week and a half maybe? Our last session you couldn't stop talking about how excited you were to be throwing Keenan his birthday party and now you guys aren't even together anymore" she said in disbelief

"Yeah and I haven't stopped crying since, I wish you would've saw the look on his face .. I felt like I ripped his heart out"

Every time I think about it I start tearing up.

"This is going to be a long and hard process Tiara ... and I fear that it's going to put you in such a dark place because you're still already going through so much mentally ... and now a breakup and it's not just any breakup either ... he's your best friend" she said to me.

"My heart hurts so much, like it physically hurts. I swear I don't know what I do to deserve this. Things just keep happening to me and I don't know why and now my brother is also back in town so that's another thing I have to deal with" I told her

"Are you and your brother not close?"

"When we were younger, but I haven't spoken to him in almost 4 maybe 5 years"

"And why is that?"

"He had a really bad falling out with my parents , my father ended up kicking him out and for the first year we kept in contact but after a while we didn't say much , just checking in every now and then, but he still keeps in contact with Tay'Vian our little sister"

"How old is she?"

"She turns 16 this year I think, I be losing track sometimes"

"And how has she been taking all of this ? Seeing her big sister go through so much I'm sure it's hard for her to witness all this?"

"That's a great question ... I really don't know , like I haven't sat and thought about how this could be affecting her"

Damn ....

"I feel like family time will really help you, though when people go through hard times, we all prefer to be alone .. but sometimes the better option is to surround yourself by those who love you the most ... family. It brings back this nostalgic feeling , specifically from your childhood"

"My parents did the best they could when raising us, even though my mom was disowned by her parents"

"Care to elaborate with me?"

"Well my dad hasn't always been this good guy, he was really invested into the whole gang life , but it was one of those typical drug dealer stories ... he did bad things that he'll never speak on ever again, he sold drugs, got kicked out of school a few times, always got into fights .. but when he met my mom things changed. My mom was apart of this program at her school I forgot what it was called , but the program was solely focused on helping troubled teens and they felt like teenagers connect better with their peers. So, my mom who wanted to be a psychologist at the time, ended up getting paired with my dad. His parents wanted him to get better so they forced him to sign up for this program. My mom and dad met up like 3 times a week and 3 times turned into 5 times and 5 times turned into everyday basically. She made him wanna be better and do better so he could get her. Her parents on the other hated my father and everything he was about. They thought it was absurd that she fell for someone she was supposed to be helping and thought it was inappropriate , so my parents had to sneak around a lot and my father ended up getting her pregnant, their first one she had a miscarriage she was like 18, that's when her parents kicked her out, and she ended up moving in with my dad , they were both dealing with a lot but they went through it together and at 20 that's when she had my older brother" I explained to doctor Jordan