"It's like sometimes I think I'm ready ... but then other times it's like I'm back at square one"
I was talking to Dr.Jordan about how I felt towards going back to school.
"If you're not ready Tiara ... no one is rushing you" she spoke
"I know but I also don't want to be there longer than I have to be"
"Honey ... college will always be there , you can literally go back any time you want , I understand the whole graduating with your friends and that college experience , especially HBCU .... it's like no other , but your mental always comes first because you cannot do anything without your mind being in the right place ... or somewhat right place" she said to me.
"I don't wanna do it alone though ..."
I love that I have my friends and Keenan there at school with me , I don't want to go back to school alone.
Not saying I have a problem with being alone I just ... prefer not to be.
"Do you believe you have abandonment issues Tiara?" Dr.Jordan asked me
"Mmm I wouldn't say that because no one has really abandoned me"
That caused her to raise her eyebrow
"Really?" She asked
I nodded my head "I don't think that's true ... just based off the things you've been telling me since day one .... what about your grandparents , they abandoned your mother after she had you guys ... meaning they also chose to abandon you and your siblings ..."
She started off with that ...
"And you can't tell me once that you never wondered , where's my grandma and grandpa?"
She was right ... as usual .. "well I have , I mean I use too a lot when I was younger"
"Tell me about a day where it hit you the hardest"
* flash back 9 years ago *
"Why's mommy crying?" I asked Trey , he looked around I guess to make sure no one was listening.
"I think it's because of grandma" he said
"We have a grandma?" Tay'Vian asked
"We do ... she just doesn't come around" he said sadly
"How come?" I asked
"Yeah why not?" 7 year old Tay'Vian asked
"Um I guess she didn't want anything to do with us?" I could tell that he was trying to tell us in the most none hurtful way.
"That doesn't make sense ? She's our grandmother ... what about our grandfather?" I asked him
"He's the same way, I mean he still tries to keep in contact but if grandma were to find out she'd disown him as well"
"That's not fair" Tay'Vian said
"It's not" Trey agreed
"I feel like we should go hug mommy" I said
"Yes let's go hug her and give her tons and tons of kisses" Tay'Vian smiled
Trey smiled at us and then we got up from the couch and went upstairs to our parents room.
We went upstairs and knocked on their door.
I heard mommy sniffling before coming to open the door.
She opened the door with a wide smile on her face but it never reached her eyes.
"Hi mommy" Tay'Vian said
YOU ARE READING
BestSelf {book 2}
Novela JuvenilBook Two of Best Friends series. It's been a little over a month since they found Tiara beaten and bruised by Nate and his friend. She hasn't been the same since that day, she barely says a word or even crack a smile. Her friends check up on her co...
