Enemy of Silence

24 - New York, New York

It's been a week since I left Hydra. I sit in the drivers seat of a stolen Audi S4 as I cross the state lines from Pennsylvania into New York. Something in my body screams at me to drive to Brooklyn, so I stop at a gas station on the border. I fill up the car, paying with some money I acquired and or stole on my journey, and pick up a road map of New York. I have a vague memory of New York but it's enough for me to notice it's industrialisation. After grabbing some food from a diner I pick up a newspaper on the street. The headlines are still dominated by the death of the Starks and covered in interviews with their son, one even had statements from Peggy.

I drive without stopping until I reach Brooklyn and I have to pull over to calm my headache. My head spins as voices fill my head: 'With Stark robotic reversion technology...', 'As who? Steve from Ohio?, 'You're taking all the stupid with you.', 'I got you in my sights now doll.' Images flash through my mind along with names as I close my eyes. I breath heavily as they stop, two names remain in my head after it's all over; Sergeant James Barnes and Captain Steve Rogers. I pull out my map and head towards the nearest public library. Getting out of the car, I pull my hood up and push open the doors. "Excuse me ma'am." I say to the old woman working the desk, "Can you show me where the books on American history are?" I ask. She smiles at me softly, making her way around the desk, I hold out my arm which she takes and begins to lead me to the section. "What exactly are you looking for honey?" She says gently. "Um, the Second World War. and the, uh..." I trail off, a name on the tip of my tongue. "The Howling Commandos?" She broaches.

I smile at the name, "Yeah. The Howling Commandos." She takes me to a shelf and begins pulling out books. "I remember seeing Captain America as a little girl. He was a gorgeous man." She laughs, "So was his best friend. I read about Barnes in my history books." My head shoots up at the name. "Barnes?" I ask. "Mhm. James Buchanan Barnes, was a Howling Commando." My chest tightens at the name. "Uhm, I don't want to overstep, but do you think you could tell me about all of this?" I broach tentatively. The woman gives me a beaming smile, "Well of course honey. I haven't seen you here before, are you a student?" She questions. "Um no. I grew up here but I've been in Europe for a while. I've only been back for a few days." I explain. "Well where are you staying?" I scoff, "In my car." The woman furrows her brows at me, "You can come and stay with me. It gets lonely these days, and you can work at the library and help me with the heavy lifting. What's your name?" She asks. I hesitate for a moment, I can't go by Victoria Solovyova yet, "It's Victoria Erskine." I say, the two names just popping into my head, "I'd love to stay with you ma'am I really appreciate it." She smiles, "Please, call me Ana."

I hang around the library for the rest of the day, helping Ana with some deliveries, and even reading through some history books. "Are you ready to go dear?" Ana asks, shrugging on her coat. "Yeah, um, how far away do you live?" I ask curiously. "Not far, we can walk." A breath a sigh of relief at being able to ditch my fifth car permanently. I hook my arm in Ana's as we walk towards her home. It's a small apartment about six minutes away from the library, filled with photos of family and small trinkets. Ana removes her coat and shows me to her spare room, "You can put your bag in here. We'll get you some new clothes soon." She says as she leaves to make us some tea. I return to the kitchen when I hear the teapot whistle and take a seat at the table with my tea. I stare at the steam for a while, mesmerised by the heat of the drink and how I can feel its energy. "So, Victoria Erskine? Any relation to the doctor?" Ana asks. I remain silent for a while, racking my brain, "Doctor?" I mutter. "Dr Erskine, he created some sort of serum." Ana explains. "Abraham." I breathe. "Would it sound crazy if I said he was a friend?" I whisper, looking at Ana desperately. She greets me with a knowing smile, "I knew it."

I raise an eyebrow in question, "You're Viktoriya Solovyova. I was obsessed with you when I studied history all those years ago." I smile sadly before asking, "You learnt about me?" Ana sips her tea and says, "Mhm. What happened to you honey? Where did you go?" I sigh, "I went back there, to Hydra, I couldn't face Peggy anymore. But I heard about Howard and now, now I feel like I have to be here." I explain for the first time. Ana spend the rest of the night filling me in on how I knew Captain America and James Barnes, or Bucky. I started to remember certain things as she was telling me, like my engagement, and their deaths. It was a rollercoaster of emotions but at least I know where the ring on my necklace came from. I spend the next two weeks adjusting to life outside of Hydra before it's time for me to leave. I give Ana a hug and thank her for her help, leaving her with a freshly printed photo of the two of us. I twirl my ring as I sit in the back of a cab heading to Manhattan.

It feels weird to know who I was again, I still don't remember every memory but I can give you a brief history of the life of Captain America so I think I'm good to go. I've been reading up on the Starks and S.H.I.E.L.D, I've also started watching the news every morning. If I thought the world was fucked up in the 1940s, it's only gotten worse since then. The cab driver pulls into a street with lavish houses and asks for his payment, which I promptly give him before slipping out of the car. I conceal myself and walk up the pathway of the house. I survey any possible entries but my only option is to knock the door.