Lacuna

chpt.5

September 24, 1998
Diary,
Apparently a lot of people didn't show up to their DADA class that day after Slughorn's class so we'll be doing our boggarts Monday.

That potion was actually really helpful for me to enjoy myself for a while but I hated that I had that moment with Harry.

Like, I would've loved to have that kind of moment with Blaise because he's fucking hilarious and fun to spend time with.

Harry is sloppy and like...annoying? He's a Gryffindor and he's practically the reason why the wizarding world is still being pieced together still.

But doing the Macarena with him was pretty fun, or I was just high out of my mind.

Prompt: how much do you truly love yourself?

I used to love myself, I was confident and happy, but at this point I still find it a hard time recognizing myself. When I look back at these photos from years ago, I see a completely different person.

I was fit, happy, healthy, mentally and physically, I had friends. I watched myself move and laugh in the photos. It's unrecognizable at how good I had it at life then.

Do you have any idea how much I would give up to go back? Just to go back and relive a normal day like how they used to be.

Cordelia.

It was a rainy Saturday, it seems like it rains a lot more there than usual. Cordelia sat at her bed flipping through a book. She was by herself and she closed her book on her chest sighing in boredom.

She turned her head and her eyes laid on a little orange bottle that sat on Pansy's night stand. Cordelia quickly sat up and looked around before slightly getting up off the bed snatching the bottle.

'Alprazolam.'

Other well know has,Xanax. She didn't know what it was. She shook the pill bottle before unscrewing the cap. She stared down into the bottle and bit her lip before taking three pills out of the bottle and screwed the cap back on placing it back to where it was.

She rested the pills on her tongue and swallowed them dry. She shook her head and sat up from her bed and walked out to the common room to join her friends.

She smiled at them and took a seat on one of the couches as chatter filled her ears and her mind went blank. She felt dizzy and felt super tired. She stared blankly ahead as the drug over took her body slowly.

"Hey Cordelia, do you have the homework for Trelwaney?" Theo nudged her shoulder. Cordelia snapped out of stare and looked up at him and had trouble forming words.

"I um-" she stuttered trying not to act suspicious. "No?" She shook her head. Theo groaned and rolled his eyes.

"You're acting like Pansy." He stared at her. Cordelia looked away and sunk into the couch crossing her arms over her stomach. After a few more minutes it seemed like the chatter grew louder and head began to ache.

She closed her eyes and groaned rubbing them before standing from the couch nearly toppling over. She ignored the questions being asked by her friends to where she was going. Thoughts lingered in her mind about the war. It's like the memories came to life and started replaying in her mind all over again.

She crept through the halls having no real destination. She approached the astronomy tower door and pushed it open. She started up the spiral staircase.