Lacuna

chpt.9

Harry laid in his bed not taking his eyes off Cordelia scared if he fell asleep he'd miss something. When Cordelia was sedated she was trapped inside her mind. The hospital wing was eerie at night. The moonlight crept through the blinds and quiet rain tapped at the window. The place was cold and freezing in there.

Harry eventually got up from his bed and quietly walked up to her bed and sat on a chair that sat beside her bed. She was hooked up to all sorts of machines that beeped and buzzed. Ever since the war they've decided to take more caution and looked into muggle machines. Even at St. Mungo's they're taking the same precautions.

Harry shifted his eyes over to her chart that laid on the night stand. He took his free hand and grabbed it. His other was in a sling. He sat the chart on his lap and flipped to the first page. He read over the chart. It stated that she had suffered a grand mal seizure, flat lined for nearly 3 minutes and that she had overdosed on crack cocaine along with a bunch of other stuff.

He skimmed down her chart and said she had a mini stroke during her seizure. It listed multiple potions that had been directed into her bloodstream to sober her up and ease her pain and to flush her body from the toxins. It said if she doesn't seem to improve in the next few days they'll transport her to St.Mungo's. 

Harry flipped to the next page and it had all of her previous hospital visits to St. Mungo's. His eyes widened he saw that she had attempted over the summer as well but this was far worse.
She had tried to drown herself but she was rescued by her aunt. She was blue and cold when her aunt found her and her body temp was down to the 80s.

She was luckily brought back to life but she was checked into the physiatrics floor of St.Mungo's and was prescribed anti-depressants but had to get taken off of them since aunt didn't like the way they totally changed her personality. He sighed and took her hand that rest on her side. After a few moments her hand gently squeezed back. He smiled as a tear fell from his face.

He stared at the machines that showed her heart beat and her vitals. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around before her eyes laid on Harry. It was dark in the room but she could tell it was him. She was confused as to where she was.

"Harry?" She whispered. He snapped his head and looked down at her face full of worry. She looked around at everything that was connected to her. "What- what happened?" She asked him.

"Do not remember anything?" He asked her lowering his voice. She shook her head a bit terrified. He inhaled and told her what happened. Her face ranged with emotions and didn't even realize she was holding his hand the entire time. She stared up at the ceiling as he told her the story.

"That's bloody great." She sarcastically remarked as she looked up the ceiling staring blankly. "So-" she turned her head to Harry, "-I died?" She asked him. He nodded.

"Well...your heart stopped so...yes." He answered her question. She gripped onto his hand staring up into his eyes. "Did you mean to do it?" His voice broke. Cordelia looked away from him and shook her head. She felt her eyes to start to burn.

"Not this time. No." She answered him. "No..this time wasn't intentional."

"Why didn't you stop then? Who even gave it to you?" He whispered. Tears fell from her face and she shrugged.

"I- I don't know why I didn't...Draco had it and it was a party-"

"Malfoy?" He raised his voice higher then a whisper. She snapped her head to him.

"Shh!" She shushed him. "He had it but he was the one telling me to stop the entire time." She explained to him. "Why are you here anyway?" She took her hand and away from his.

"You literally died..and I was in the hospital wing when Malfoy came rolling in with you lifeless in his arms."

"Why do you care so much?" She tried to keep her voice quiet. He glared down at her.

"I-I don't know!" He answered sitting back in his chair. "You're careless with you life when I had to fight for mine for like 16 years of my life!" Her eyes were glassy full of tears. They burned her eyes and they began to appear bloodshot.

"Some people aren't as strong as you are." She snapped at him. "Some people struggle and run out of options."

"Do you not think I struggle?" He asked her. "Do you not think I struggle as well Cordelia?"Cordelia kept quiet and she opened her mouth to say something but he went on. "I know it sucks and it hurts and that it feels like you have no where to run but you don't just throw you life away!" At this point she was sobbing.

The silence spread throughout the room. Harry stared down at her and took her hand again and she squeezed it back hard.

"I'm so sorry you had to see all of that." She apologized looking back up at him. He also had tears falling from his face. "I'm sorry about earlier at study hall..I'm sorry about everything." She sobbed.

"Promise me you won't do ever do something like that again." She stared back up at him wondering if she could even make that promise. She stopped crying and gasped out of breath. "Promise me." She kept quiet staring up at his teary blue eyes.

She closed ready to say something but the second she closed her eyes she felt his lips pressed onto hers. The kiss was salty from their tears. Her heart nearly skipped a beat. Her grip on his hand grew tighter when she kissed back.
He pulled away but still remained close to her face, they kept their eyes shut and she could feel his warm breath on her soft lips.

"I promise.." she quietly whispered before crashing her lips onto his. Their tongues met and she was slowly sitting up in her hospital bed as they deepened the kiss. His hand let go of hers and held onto her face pulling her in. Her hand ran through his dark brown hair as their lips danced.

"Bloody hell..." they heard a voice emit from the door. Cordelia pulled away and turned her head to the door and Ron stood in the doorway with a blanket thrown over his shoulder and a pillow under his arm. Harry pulled back his hand from her face Cordelia flopped back on her bed.

"Ron! What are doing here?" Harry sat up from his seat wiping his mouth. Ron stared at the two very confused absolutely speechless.

"I was um-" he cleared his throat. "-thought I could stay here with you but- ....it seems you have enough company." He backed up a few steps.

"Goodnight Ron." Harry said. Ron looked at the two.

"What about Ginny?" Ron lowered his voice. Cordelia snapped her head at Harry who appeared speechless.

"Goodnight Ron." Harry repeated himself and Ron stared at them before turning around leaving.

"I thought you said Ginny wasn't your girlfriend." Cordelia pointed out.

"She's been in love with me since the day I met her, we've been broken up since the war anyway." Harry said walking towards his bed. She furrowed her eyebrows at him.

What about Ginny?

———

October 21,1998
Diary,
Yeah, drugs aren't fun. They'll never be fun. It's pretty traumatizing when one of your old friends tell you a story about how they watched you overdose and nearly die.

I would've never expected to catch myself making out with Harry Potter in the hospital after a near death experience. It was emotional to say the least.

My overdose was completely unintentional this time and I swear by it. Getting high was my plan and it was an attempt to relieve the pain. I am mentally exhausted but my story isn't over. I've made a promise.

Prompt: write about your biggest regret.

Not kissing Harry sooner.