Lacuna

chpt.1

September 1,1998.
Diary,
I've rode this stupid train to Hogwarts 7 times already, I didn't think I would ride it for the 8th. It stinks like piss and teen hormones. I don't think you know how incredibly painful it will be to set foot onto the school ground- oh wait. You won't because you're a fucking diary. Ive watched my friends fall into pits of fire and you expect me to write about it? No.

Its hard enough to even live with it myself and I just don't understand the point of it. Bottling it up and keeping it hidden is far better then writing and opening up to some random psychiatrist. I've been told to be not so aggressive in these entries but i quite dont give a fuck. Why didn't you just throw me in Azkaban and let me rot like my parents did until you people slit their throats. It would do all of us a favor. Wouldn't it?

Right now I'm on the train right now sitting across from fucking Draco. He's a piece of shit, rich boy, coward, drama queen, knobhead, know it all! Why out of all people would my now dead parents want me to marry HIM? I'd rather marry some half-blood. He's almost proud to be a death eater...it seems like he is.

On the other hand, I want to carve out that stupid tattoo and let it bleed out into the shower, but I'm not allowed because I'll be put in the psychiatric ward in St.Mungo's. Maybe it would be better than going to school this year.

Let's just say I'm joking about that last sentence.

Prompt for today: What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?

The waves crashing at the beach that I went to with mum and dad when I was 7. Crazy to think that was 10 years ago. I fucking hate how time can be swept right out from under you.

Cordelia.

As she finished writing in her journal she closed it shut shortly after the ink had dried. She picked at the feathers to her quill staring down at her hands that are stained black from the ink.

The air burned her dull blue eyes that seemed to have no emotion anymore. She tapped her foot ever so quietly under the table as Pansy took a seat next to her along with Blaise to unbothered to even pick up her head. The day was rainy, depressing, it fit the mood.

"Stupid to think we actually care about writing in these god awful notebooks." Blaise complained setting his bright yellow journal on the table that the four sat at.

"What's up with the obnoxious color..it's hideous." Draco poked at it as if it where to attack him like that hippogriff in third year.

"Color of happiness." He dully stated staring down at the bright color with his hand folded in his lap.
"Bullshit really." He slapped his hand onto the the cover and scooped it into his hands. Cordelia looked up from her hands and Pansy smiled to her.

"Long time no see huh?" Patted her back making a nice gesture. Cordelia gave a small smile.

"Long time no see." She answered Pansy. The train whistle blew and started.

The train was empty, dull, dark. Depressing. Very quiet also. The train was damn near empty, so many people died during war it's horrific.

———

September 5, 1998
Diary,
You guys are babies and extremely sensitive it's embarrassing on my part. I will express my feelings and trauma how ever I fucking decide. I'm going to glue myself together even if it means I get to call you guys stupid sensitive babies.

The first few days have been hellish, literally no one is here anymore, people are here but they're not themselves. They're not here.I just want to go back home.