Lacuna

chpt.24

March 1, 1999

Diary,
Draco has been spending time at the manor with his mother but I haven't left yet. I can't bring myself to go and visit my parents. I'm scared. What if they don't remember me? What is they forgot about me? What if they don't even love me anymore?

What did Narcissa even mean by insanity?

Slack jaw?

Coo coos nest?

Did they pump them full of potions and medications to where they don't even remember their own names?

I'm over thinking it.

Definitely. They're probably fine. They might be okay.

They're okay.

Cordelia.

Cordelia laid on her bed staring up at the ceiling mind full. Her heart pounded and pounded making her want to rip it out. The loud sound of Daphne and Pansy chatting filled her ears.

"Could you guys be a little more quiet?" Cordelia whispered. The two continued to run their mouths ignoring Cordelia.

"Guys..." she repeated sitting up facing them. They didn't hear her. They seemed so happy like they didn't have a care in the world.

Their big happy grins, loud laughter, talking about boys. They seemed happy. The smiles on their faces made her mad. Made Cordelia feel envious.

Her hands formed into fists and her nails pierced the skin on her palm. Her scarred palm from the broken glass. She stared at them just infuriated. She was mad. She was jealous.

"Would you guys be quiet!" Cordelia snapped standing up from her bed. Daphne and Pansy snapped their heads towards her startled.

"Would you guys just—" Cordelia flexed her fingers balling them into fists inhaling and closing her eyes. "—just SHUT UP!" She screamed causing them to jump. Pansy and Daphne stared at her eyes wide then turned to each before bursting into laughter.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Mocked Pansy. Cordelia stared at them with her fists shaking at her sides nearly popping  a blood vessel.

"Are you serious Cordelia? Are you s-serious?" Daphne laughed making Cordelia even more upset. "Have you gone yumpie?" She giggled.

Cordelia clenched her jaw and in a quick move she grabbed onto a ceramic bird that rested on her night stand and threw it directly at Daphne. She ducked out of the way and it shattered on the wall behind them.

They shook their head from the wall back to her shocked. Cordelia grabbed another thing off her nightstand clasping it tight in her hand.

"I'll aim for your fucking airhead this time." She growled. They stared at her almost scared.

Cordelia realized what she just did and snapped out of her current enraged state. She dropped what she had in her hand back on her nightstand embarrassed.

Loud silence filled the room. Tension buzzing.

"I'm sorry.." Pansy whispered. Cordelia ignored her and rushed to the door slipping her converse on and grabbing her jacket slipping her arms through the sleeves. Pansy stood from her seat but before she could say anything again Cordelia left slamming the door shut.

A mirror that hung up by the door fell to the floor shattering.

Cordelia ran down the hall with no destination. She snuck past the boys who sat in the common room doing whatever boys do before quickly and slyly exiting.