Lacuna

chpt.13

December 29,1998
Diary,
Our kiss was hatred. Unnatural. It didn't feel right. It takes everything in me to not curse him, everything. I don't want him. I never will. I will never want Draco, but I will force myself. I will do it for my parents, for his and for Harry's sake.

He can't love me.

I won't love him.

It will do more harm than any good to fall for Harry, but I'm still trying to crawl my way out.

I've already fallen.

Cordelia.

Cordelia and Draco hardly left their dorms. They liked being alone, it was the first time in a long time they could be alone.

She couldn't get her mind off of her future. She never even thought about her future until Draco's stupid lecture. The thought of walking down the aisle sickens her. Makes her want to vomit.

She didn't want to get married. She wanted to just live alone on the country side with a big ass house just to herself. She didn't want a spouse. She didn't want a family. She wanted a cat. That's about it.

She wanted to be alone, live alone, die alone so she couldn't encounter any more losses if she didn't have anything to lose. Cordelia sat in a chair in her now empty dorm. She sat alone holding a golden snitch in her hands.

It would flutter and sit in front of her as it's wings spun in circles. She stared at her as it levitated in front of her face. As she did that she was playing wizards chest with an action figure she has bewitched.

She was winning but sometimes she have the little action figure challenge her. Eventually she got bored. Cordelia reversed the enchantment on the action figure and it flopped over and she closed the snitch and got up from her seat.

She walked to the door slipping on a pair of shoes and grabbing her diary hopefully when she leaves she won't see Draco. She quietly opened her door and stepped out of her dorm.

She scanned the common room and he wasn't there so she took off for the exit. She bolted to the exit and left letting out a sigh in relief. The halls were quiet now that hardly anybody was in the school.

She appreciated the castle. How complex and large it is. How old and ancient. How it holds so many dark memories along with happy shiny bright ones. How it once was used as a battlefield.

Her home.

Cordelia looked around the corridor before waking throughout the school. She had no real destination, just walking. Step after step, foot after foot, staircase after staircase. She rounded corner after corner still somehow not getting lost.

It doesn't feel right when the castle is empty. There's always students just running around goofing off constantly. Always. The happiness of the castle seemed to have faded, no longer loud laughter, no more stupid shenanigans. Yeah sure, people still enjoy themselves but there's something missing.

She walked throughout the halls just enjoying the silence until she felt a cold presence as if she weren't alone. She was right outside the Gryffindor common room. She looked around a bit confused.

She had expected it was peeves or some other Hogwarts ghost. She stood still waiting for whoever it was to come from the shadows. She heard a buzzing noise, she turned her head and what appeared to be a firework flew around her.

The firework was missing color. It was colorless. She was confused and watched as it blew out in front of her. She furrowed her eyebrows and watched as a silhouette approach her. It wasn't walking, it was floating.