Every time I see you suddenly my heart begins to race,
Every time I live I don't know why my heart begins to break.
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3 years and a half ago...
The next day at school Scott wasn't there so I had to sit alone like I used to when I wasn't friends with him. The ride was silent, all the kids were oddly quiet, making me wonder what happened or what was happening. The seat next to next to me felt empty, Scott wasn't there to feel the silence between us and Devily wasn't there either like she'd normally be whenever Scott would be sitting next to some else or he wouldn't come to school for whatever reason.
When I got out off the bus and stepped in the school the first thing I heard is someone calling me "HEY LITTLE FAG!" Matt approached me with his 'gang' and I just mentally prepared myself for his insults and beating."I heard your stupid friend isn't at school today so you are alone, you are helpless..." he whispered.
I just thought of a good a nice response. They probably knew Scott was the only reason I was alive and they couldn't hurt me worse but now that he's not around they'll probably profit of this to the maximum "Yeah, he's probably sick and couldn't come today, I'm gonna be worried" I gave him a sad smile before trying to walk away from his friends and the school entrance, wrong move.
He shoved me hard in the nearby lockers and kicked me in the leg, making sure I couldn't run away at all "Not so fast kiddo, you gotta pay for every time you got away from me. You don't deserve to be alive, you are wasting my oxygen, so I have to make sure I stop your breathing before you make the world worse." he said in a creepy voice that make my skin crawl and my stomach turn in fear of what he could do.
He went to punch me in the face but his fist was stopped mid-air by a hand, a hand I recognized too well. Devily. She pushed him away from me and kicked him in the stomach then in the face, taking him by surprise and making him fall to the ground, blood coming out of his nose and his busted lip. Some of his friends went to help him stand up but he did it himself, anger coursing through his veins, and tried to punch her but she dodged his failed tries, hitting him harder then before between dodges. His friends came to help but she just made them fall to the ground in pain by a simple glance, making me remember about the time she did that in the alley. When they all decided to back away in frustration and pain, she called after them to leave me alone but they'd never do that, it's not in their nature.
She finally turned to me and I could see the angry expression on her flawless face, her eyes showing no emotion though, making me wonder she'd hide them if they were obvious.
"Because it's not only anger" she said slowly after reading my mind then left me there surprised and confused like she'd always do...
-
After school I got all my stuff and went outside past the bus stop, settling for a walk home, I didn't need to see everybody's judgemental and disgusted faces and I thought a walk could help clear my mind a little bit more.
I slowly started making the long way home, avoiding the dark alleys I used to go through. I made a small recapitulation of today's events in my head: my mother wasn't awake when I went to school so I didn't have to deal with that, Scott wasn't at school today so I had to be alone for most of the day, Devily appeared in flesh and bones in the school and fought the bullies for me, Matt kept talking about her to his friends and made fun of her which, I don't know why, made me red in anger, at lunch time I had to close myself in the girl's bathroom so the other students wouldn't come to make fun of me and was late to the music class, making the one of the only teachers that liked me mad. It wasn't a fun day, but it was a confusing one. Usually the bullies wouldn't stop at anything to make my life miserable but it seems like she scared them off but not enough to completely leave me alone. I kept thinking about yesterday, about Devily's soft cold lips on mine, the feeling it gave me and how much I wanted to feel it again. I kept thinking about why I suddenly felt this way, why I my heart would start beating faster when I saw her and why would it stop when she left. Was it because she became more distant and I kept seeing her less? I didn't know and I don't think I wanted to know.
As if she could sense me thinking about her, she appeared by my side but not in the same form I saw her earlier today, in the way I first saw her, a shadow thin body with empty dull demon eyes and white perfect skin. My heart was beating unevenly now and my breathing hitched. She slowly brushed her fingers with mine while walking like usual, making the boring old pain shoot through me. We didn't speak, I was lost in my thoughts and she was just watching me closely, reading every inch of me and my mind, silently waiting for me to tell her what I wanted to.
"Kiss me." I said as we got on a darker empty street near my house and turned my head to look at her. Her normal smirk turned into a smile before whispering a small 'Finally' and her body becoming more visible so she wouldn't go through me.
Her lips suddenly pressed against mine and I closed my eyes letting the unknown feeling go through me and the new pain I already loved get in every single corner of my body. She unexpectedly put her hands around my waist and brang me closer to her while holding me tightly, making my pale skin probably go red and I put my hands around her neck, carefully making sure I wasn't pulling on her hair. We stayed so a little bit, our bodies pressed against each other's and our now swollen lips moving in sync, creating a mix of strange feelings and pain go through almost making me want to crash against the ground but she was holding me too tight for that to happen.
How could this happen? When did this happen? When did I start falling in love with my demon? Probably when I started missing her full of pain touch, or her demonic eyes watching me, or her presence in the silent empty room. I didn't know what I liked most, the pain she made me feel or her in general. It could have been my love for pain making me do all of this, it could have been my heart that was just shouting for feeling cared about. But, it could have been her too. The story about her that fantasized me a little too much, the way her voice reminded me of my mother's calm beautiful one, the way she'd change her eyes in different moments and leave me wondering why, how she'd always read my mind and remain by my side, even though I couldn't always tell, how she'd sometimes answer more of my burning questions in one small answer, making me understand more and more. The way she was, the way she is, what she is. My demon. The one that has been with me all this time, that has changed my perspective about life, the one that taught me all I knew and that knew every little dark deep hidden part of my brain and life. The only one that would ever know how I feel, the one that will always be with me until I die. She was the one that made me question my feelings, that made me feel new things, that made me want to get into trouble just so I could see her more often. The one and only demon that didn't only get in my head, but in my heart too...
YOU ARE READING
Soulless eyes.
Random"You used to be so happy, so cheerful and positive. You used to be the reason eveybody's hopes were still there. I miss that old Angel. Where is she? What have you done with her?" he asked with tears in his eyes and pain in his voice. "Scott, she ne...
