Soulless eyes.

Chapter 15

I felt the darkness as it tried to pull me down (pull me down)
The kind of dark that haunts a hundred year old house
I wrestle with my thoughts, I shook the hand of doubt
Running from my past, I'm praying feet don't fail me now.

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3 years ago...

I cried as the coffin was slowly being covered by dirt and the memory of him was slowly slipping away from everybody's mind, except mine. He was my only friend, the only one that understood me even if he didn't know my pain, the only one that ever tried helping me. Scott. He died saving my life. He was shot by my crazy mother when she aimed for me but he pushed me out of her way, him getting hit instead. I was blaming myself for everything, of course I was. I was the one that should have been dead, not him. I was the one that made my mother angry, not him. I was the one that deserved to die, not him...

I ran away as fast as I could from the pain of seeing him this way, praying my feet won't fail me now so the pain wouldn't get to me, but of course it did. I couldn't get away, I won't ever get away. I'll have to leave the rest of my life knowing he died for me and wishing I was in that coffin and him living, not the other way around. I fell to the cold hard ground and started crying, Devily was soon by my side holding me and making my skin burn at the slightest touch.

I laid there crying, the world near me disintegrating, leaving me and Devily floating in a dark void. His voice was echoing through my head and images of him were floating around. Devily somehow disappeared, leaving me there sobbing and shaking. No, this isn't happening...

I woke up panting heavily and with tears down my face, my head was pounding and my legs were ice cold. The blanket was on the floor and my pillows were thrown around the room messily.

I slowly got up to get them but I instantly fell to the ground, my body not listening to my commands. I felt a hand on my back helping me get up and when I finally did I turned around, kissed her pale lips like I'd usually do whenever I woke up, then went back to making my bed, thinking about my dream.

What does the dream mean? Why am I worrying? Scott is alright, right? I took my phone in my hand and quickly sent him a text, waiting for an answer. When it finally came I let out a sigh of relief and went back to my usual routine.

-

I opened the front door and walked outside only to get dragged inside again and pressed against the door. I felt the cold pair of lips on mine and I kissed back, smiling at the surprising action. She could always make me get things off my mind but would always make me ask myself so many questions.

She pulled up my thighs, making me wrap them around her skinny waist, my hands in her hair, playing with it. The familiar feeling was filling me up. The mixture of pain and love I was feeling was indescribable and I was wondering so bad if she was feeling it.

'I do' said her angelic voice in my head, making me pull away slightly and smile.

"I'll miss the bus" I said, going to unwrap my legs from around her but she held them tighter, making pain course through them.

"We can walk there" she whispered slowly and loosened the grip on my thighs.

"It will take too long, I won't ge-"

"You don't know half of the things I can do" she said before kissing me again, making me instantly forget what I wanted to say. I just went with it and trusted her, enjoying the feeling in my ripped heart.

I didn't realized until I heard people walking around that we were at school and I was in my first period's class room, my bag in the back seat and my back against the white board.

I pulled away surprised. Yes, I probably didn't know half of what she was capable of, but I sure wanted to find out. I turned my head to look at her smirking face and demon eyes watching me closely and I let my feet meet the ground as she put her hands through my stomach, the sudden action making me have to lean against the desk. When the door opened, revealing the teacher enter the class room, I straightened my position and smiled at him. Devily was gone now and I missed her presence already, but I couldn't always have her around.

The teacher, Mr. Sykes smiled back, already used to me getting early to his class. I moved back to my seat and waited there for the rest of the students to get in and for the boring history class to start while I zoomed out the window, thinking about how my will life go until I end it...

-

The whole day I avoided everyone for the simple reason that I had no one to communicate to so I didn't need to be in the same room as them. As soon as the bell would ring I'd hurry to my next period and and get there before everyone. Matt and his friends were suspended as well so I didn't need to worry about them, they were the main bullies but without them always bugging me people forgot I existed.

Now, school was over. I was sitting alone in the bathroom on the cold hone floor, drawing her in the shadows, her back turned to me but hear head slightly facing me, her eyes glowing beautiful black. It was silent, all students left by now to get the bus or stayed in detention or for a school club, I didn't know.

My mind slowly started overthinking like always, my hand concentrating on the drawing. I thought about Scott, how he was, how did his parents get the news, why was he so protective of me. Why did he want to be my friend so bad? Yes, I already knew the answer, yet still I couldn't help but wonder about that...

Then I started thinking about mom, how she has damaged herself because of someone's death, because she was suffering and couldn't bare it all. Sometimes I wouldn't see Michael and Alicia happy together and those moments always made me question their love for each other but I could obviously see that whatever were those moments about they were happy and loved each other more than I thought, making one of them's death affect the other in a horrible way.

While I was thinking about Michael's and Alicia's love I thought about my feeling for that little demon living inside my heart and soul, making me go crazy and feel things I didn't choose to. I didn't know if I could call it love, but if I could I'd totally do so, I had no doubt about that. I knew that I had strong feelings for the soulless girl and I couldn't help it, it wasn't my choice...

I felt her lips on my cheek and I looked over at her smiling face, making me instantly happier. It was strange how my demon became my angel, how whenever I was around her the world didn't exist anymore and how I was happy when I was near her but when I wasn't I came back to my depressed self like always.

She was my escape, my motivation, my thing to look forward to and my demon, the demon hours next to in that bathroom after that, slowly drawing her hundred of times, not able to get her off my messed up mind...