The Price of Death

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I'd wished for this when I was eight
I've dreamed of it since I was sane
But I lost my mind to thoughts of it
I followed blindly in search of it

My futile bargain with the earth
My lost fight to save his life
My tears brought nothing back
My screams muffled by the scarf around my neck

He didn't get to meet his idol
He didn't get to eat at a five-star rated restaurant
He didn't get to karaoke with me
He didn't get to write me a poem

I didn't get to kiss him goodbye
I didn't get to hear him say 'I love you' one last time
I didn't get to dance under the Eiffel Tower with him
I didn't get to tell him how much he meant to me

Now all I have is the vacuum here to remind me of him
The empty walls that scream his absence each day
The pouring rain that tells me I'm alone
And it's all I have till I'm carried home

Because I still do not know the price to pay
The one to pay which would have let you stay
It's all in vain what I do have to say

For I still have no clue the price to pay, the price to pay to keep death away.

                          

                                                      -AR🌸

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