pandora's box [bakudeku/tododeku] [pt.1 of where's my love fic series]

when we were young

summary: katsudon and promises are made.

notes: this chapter's song: "when we were young" by adele.

warnings: mentions of choking, panic attacks, and dissociation.

"are you gonna eat that, kacchan?"

"no, you can have it 'zu," katsuki hands the small bag of sweet candies that he couldn't finish to izuku. izuku takes the bag excitedly, grinning widely as he pops one of the candies in his mouth. "you have such a sweet tooth, 'zu. i don't know how you can eat the shit," katsuki laughs as he sees izuku's eyes widen, snapping his head towards inko, hoping she will say something about katsuki cussing. inko pretends not to have heard katsuki swear as she continues putting away utensils from their picnic into the basket.

izuku swallows the candy in a hurry to scold and whine at katsuki, only to feel it get stuck in his throat. his eyes widen even more as he starts coughing, his small hands clutching at his neck in desperation.

"izuku!" inko immediately gets up as soon as she hears her son gasp for air. she goes behind izuku and starts giving him back blows in an attempt to get out the candy. "izuku, you're okay, you're okay," she murmurs as she wraps her arms around his waist and bends him over. she clenches her right fist and places it right above his belly button. she then places her other hand on top of her fist and pulls sharply inwards and upwards. she does this a couple of times before switching to the heimlich maneuver.

katsuki is standing in front of the two, eyes teary as all he can do is watch. he watches izuku's panicked face, his hands shaking as he grips the bottom of his black t-shirt. i can't do anything, oh god, he's going to die. as he watches auntie inko doing her best to get the candy out, katsuki thinks back to the day when izuku had gotten lost at the mall.

"katsuki, come over here," mitsuki had already picked him up from auntie's and they had just finished eating dinner. katsuki walks over to his mom, who's sitting in the living room. his dad is at work and won't be home until later. mitsuki picks katsuki up and sits him on her lap, facing her. "do you want to talk about what happened at the mall?"

her voice is as gentle as she can make it, knowing that katsuki doesn't need her usual loudness. she waits for katsuki to reply as he stares down at his hands, blinking slowly.

"what's there to talk about? 'zu got lost because he wandered off." katsuki finally answers, a pout forming on his lips. he doesn't look up at his mom, continuing to stare at his hands. he starts to fiddle with his thumbs as that strange feeling he had felt back at the mall starts to come back (later, an older katsuki would find out those feelings were actually anxiety).

"katsuki, you know it's not your fault he wandered off, right?" mitsuki frowns as she observes her small boy suck in a breath and his hands tremble slightly. "baby, look at me. it's not your fault, okay?"

"i'm supposed to protect him!" katsuki looks up at mitsuki, eyes an angry red. he feels tears start to form but he doesn't care.

"...katsuki, what were you supposed to do? you're three too." mitsuki's eyebrows furrow at her son's outburst.

"he's my best friend! i don't care that we're practically the same age! i'm still older and i should've known better than to let him out of my sight!"