pandora's box [bakudeku/tododeku] [pt.1 of where's my love fic series]

listen before i go

summary: izuku finally heads back to school. there, both him and katsuki find trouble. the trouble doesn't end there, following izuku all the way until the evening. izuku makes some debatable choices that set him off on a path full of heartbreak and hurt.

notes: this chapter's songs: "listen before i go" by billie eilish, "sober" by fidlar, "goodbye" by billie eilish.

warnings: nightmare, bullying, suicide baiting, suicidal thoughts, suicide, suicide attempt, violence, slight mentions of homophobia, mentions of abuse, anxiety, anxiety attack, dissociation, depreciating thoughts, mentions of murder, mentions of blood and wounds.

please, please do not read if these are sensitive topics. i value your mental health more than this chapter, i love you. please, please keep in mind this is a pretty dark chapter. it might be the darkest i've written so far - it's super heavy. read with caution.

3:16 a.m.

the familiar wetness underneath izuku makes his eyes flutter open, alarm flickering in his eyes before it turns into relief. he's back again in the dark room with various hallways that are seemingly never-ending, and this time he's not afraid. not after finding out what the nightmares that occur in this space mean.

"tenshi? are you there?" izuku calls out for the boy with the glowing aura, eyes darting across the space. his brows knit when he doesn't hear a response from tenshi, a frown tugging on his lips. he begins to stand up, only to get tugged down aggressively, drawing a surprised yelp from him.

instinctively, izuku's arms spread out in front of him, trying to break his fall. his hands reach out for anything to grab, his eyes now wide as he glances at his legs. is that liquid? izuku starts to claw at the alligator green liquid that's hindering him from moving. once his fingertips touch the liquid, he realizes how thick and sticky it is. it's slime?

instantly when izuku tries to take off the resistive green, it clings to his hand, confirming izuku's thoughts of the substance being a slime. dread fills izuku as he faintly recalls some of his earlier nightmares where the slime had suffocated him in his sleep. he tries grasping onto the black floor, his fingers only slipping through the floor, giving him no grip to hold off the slime's hold on him.

a muffled scream draws izuku's attention to a corner in the room where he's greeted with the sight of the hideous, thick slime covering his best friend. crimson red eyes are bloodshot as they stare at izuku, full with fear and desperation.

"kacchan, h-hold on, i'm coming!" izuku stammers as he helplessly watches the dark green go invade his best friend's body. "tenshi, help!" he yells as he tries to release the slime's grip on his legs, ignoring the disgusting feeling of slime under his nails. izuku glances at katsuki, watching as the slime flows thickly between them. i have to stop it, i have to stop it now.

katsuki's already pale, color fading from his face as izuku swears under his breath right as the slime leaves his legs. izuku's head spins from how quickly he stands up, running to katsuki. with every step he takes, izuku gets more and more panicked, his body feeling hot with sweat running down his neck as he reaches out to katsuki. i'm not going to make it, i'm not going to make it.

i won't be able to save kacchan! izuku's mind screams at his as he watches his friend's eyes become heavy-lidded, no longer resisting the slime. deep down, izuku knows it's all just a dream, but when it comes to katsuki, he can't help but push away all thoughts of logic.