pandora's box [bakudeku/tododeku] [pt.1 of where's my love fic series]

no time to die

summary: more of hisashi's secrets are revealed. there's a feeling of not only betrayal but hurt and anger. izuku's conflicted on what he should be feeling and knows he's beginning to lose control of his emotions and who he is.

notes: this chapter's song: "no time to die", by billie eilish.

upon waking, izuku immediately notices the absence of warmth behind him. he extends his arm back and is met with cold sheets, confirming that katsuki had already gotten up. sighing, he burrows himself into the warm, soft sheets on his side, a small pout on his face. he rubs the remainders of sleep from his eyes as he gazes up at the ceiling, the sun's morning light extending across katsuki's room. his pouty expression turns into a pensive one as the recent events finally settle in.

i'm apparently part of a powerful family - an entire company that does research on quirks. dad's a murderer and has hidden this side of his life from us. he hates me and successfully killed me. i have three quirks but i don't know what the third one is. i can't tell anyone about them. mom's back.

it's strange, izuku thinks as he blinks up at the blank ceiling. i don't know what to feel. it's not like he can yell to the world about his father's sins - no, that will only endanger the people he loves. even if hisashi is still nowhere to be found, izuku knows that he can't bask in the safety of the bakugos' home. sooner or later, hisashi will return. he can't exactly go to the nearest police station and confess the sins his father has committed; they are all under his payroll. years and years of begging for help had long gone after being dismissed, humiliated, and gaslighted by all the authority figures in his life. perhaps the only one that could help now is all might, but he doesn't even know izuku. a small seed of doubt quietly grows: what if even all might is under hisashi's control? izuku is quick to uproot that seed, believing - no, knowing - that his favorite hero is much more honorable than that.

ten minutes pass as izuku gets lost in his thoughts. he thinks he's accepted 'revival' now. that's all i can do. a bittersweet smile forms on his face as he thinks of his promise and dreams of becoming a hero. with his quirk, he doesn't have to worry about keeping caution - why would he need to, if he is always going to come back? yes, he can save everyone without worrying about death. but i'd still need to be careful about letting others know about my quirk.

should i even tell mom about what i found out about him? izuku frowns as he thinks it over. i don't know. i feel so lost.

he forces himself to get up from the bed as he reaches for his phone on the nightstand.

9:30 a.m.

no wonder kacchan isn't here. there's school, he realizes as he exits katsuki's room and heads to his new room. yesterday, mitsuki had mentioned that she was making katsuki go to school since he had missed a day. surprisingly, katsuki hadn't put up much of a fight and instead offered to bring homework that izuku had missed.

before izuku could even insist on going to school, his mother had butted in and informed him that she had already called the school to excuse him from classes for the rest of the week. izuku didn't fight his mom's decision.

izuku feels heavy as he gets ready for the day, knowing that his mom is probably going to bombard him with questions. assuming katsuki went to school, he assumes that mitsuki and masaru both went to work. he doesn't expect the rest of the world to stop just because his had for a little bit.

he immediately knows something is wrong when he reaches the bottom of the stairs and isn't met with his mom. the air feels thick as he continues down the corridor by the kitchen and dining room and his mom isn't there. he continues to walk towards the living room and by now, he can hear hushed whispers. if he had the energy to do so, he knows he could've figured out what is being said. but he doesn't so he decides to step into the living room.