pandora's box [bakudeku/tododeku] [pt.1 of where's my love fic series]

911/mr. lonely

summary: six years have passed and izuku is now fourteen. he's about to enter his last year of middle school with the entrance exams to high schools just about a year away. a lot has changed since izuku was eight, but at the same time, izuku feels like he's stuck in a constant loop.

notes: this chapter's song: "911/mr. lonely" by tyler the creator.

warnings: bullying, mentions of child abuse, homophobia, hints of depression, anxiety, mentions of nightmares, mention of alcoholism.

6 years later.

a lot has changed since izuku was eight.

he's grown distant from his mom, inko only visiting twice a month and on holidays. she began receiving more cases at the firm in tokyo, making it harder for her to come home weekly. he still remembers when she first announced that she wouldn't be coming home as often, the announcement coming after his dad had pulled her to the side after dinner.

it has been hard for both inko and izuku to completely enjoy their time together when she arrives home, often arriving tired from the long trip. but it isn't just inko's fault that their relationship started growing distant. inko began noticing how her once bright, bubbly baby grew warier and reluctant to speak. she felt - no, knew - that izuku had started hiding things from her. she wasn't blind to how izuku would sometimes flinch at sudden loud noises and she swears she spots small bruises on his arms. but every time she tries to bring it up, her precious boy plasters on a smile and shakes his head, brushing it off as 'you know how mean kids can be, mama.' inko couldn't do anything but accept her son's answer and only hope that hisashi would take care of it, seeing as she wasn't home often.

izuku can't count how many times he's cried at night, hugging his all might plushie, wishing his mom would just come home - especially after rough training sessions with his dad. guilt also ate at him, wishing he didn't have to lie to his mom each time she asked if his classmates were bullying him at school. how was he supposed to explain that it's his own father making those bruises? he didn't want to make her worry, especially when seeing the eyebags underneath her happy eyes get darker. besides, it wasn't a complete lie that his classmates were mean.

after third grade, katsuki, aya, goda, and toshiaki all ended up in a different class than him. izuku ended up alone in a classroom full of kids that hated him. looking back, izuku finds it definitely odd that his friends all ended up being in a completely different class than him when they had all been together since pre-school.

the removal of his friends made izuku no longer just yoru's punching bag, but his entire class's.

all through elementary, his classmates pretended to act like he was invisible, ignoring whenever izuku would ask them a question or try to start a conversation. this only led to izuku talking less and working alone in projects since he didn't have any of his friends in his class (he was grateful that he got to see them during lunch, however).

"my god! can you shut up about heroes?"

"we're sick of you talking about quirks."

the bullying didn't end just there, only getting even worse as the years went by. at first, izuku was thankful that his classmates quit ignoring him as they got older. this feeling of thankfulness quickly faded and izuku found himself wishing his classmates still pretended he didn't exist.

at first, people began throwing paper balls at him, snickering when izuku would flinch or let out a small, surprised yelp. however, after a while, izuku got used to them, no longer flinching at all when the occasional balled up piece of paper hit his head.