Drowning Without Water - A Criminal Minds x Reader

Eight

"S-spencer-" you stutter out, terrified by the noise you just heard. This can't be happening. He couldn't be here. You're safe with Spencer. He can't get you here.

Spencer's hand on yours snaps you out of your thoughts. He had definitely noticed how scared you'd become, your breath quickened, your heart started beating harder, your hands shaking intensely, all while not removing your eyes from the door. You feel Spencer squeeze your hand.

"Y/N, everything's gonna be fine, just breathe." He whispers loud enough for you to hear but not loud enough for whoever's outside that door. Just as you're about to say something, you hear another set of knocks, harder than the first.

Spencer grabs the gun he gave you and hands it to you as he reaches over and grabs his own. He gets up and slowly makes his way towards the door. With every step he takes, you feel yourself getting more and more nervous. You manage to turn yourself around to face the door, the small wince you let out catches Spencer's attention but you give him a nod letting him know you're okay.

Finally, after what feels like forever, Spencer reaches the door and grabs the handle. He looks at you as you line your gun up with the door and he does the same. You try to remove the fear you know is crossing your face but you can't. You can't get over the fact you've put Spencer in danger. He's closest to the door. He has the highest chance of getting hurt or... or worse.

He mouths to you "three... two... one..." and yanks open the door.

"Woah WOAH Spence... Jesus fuck Spencer put the gun down! It's me Emily! Chill..." Spencer quickly lowers his gun once he realizes it's just Emily but you can't bring yourself to lower it, paralyzed in fear. Both Spence and Emily turn to look at you. Spencer changes his entire demeanor, handing his gun to Em and lowering himself like he does when he's talking down a suicidal unsub.

"Y/N... it's just Emily. Alex isn't here. You're safe. Put the gun down." You see him walking towards you. You hear what he's saying but can't register any of it. You want to move. You know it's just Emily. You know Alex isn't there, but you still can't put your gun down. You feel your breathing pick up and tears forming in your eyes the closer he gets.

When he finally reaches you and manages to grab the gun, you fall in his arms and start sobbing. He comes around the couch so you can lean on him comfortably. You hear the door shut and Emily slowly walking towards you two but you don't lookup. You just bury yourself in Spencer's neck as he rubs your arm.

"Hey... shhh it's okay... I'm right here... just breathe... you're okay," he comforts you, just repeating those phrases. You feel yourself slowly calming down. The way he holds onto you makes you feel safer than you've ever felt before. He's not even holding you that tightly, acting like if he held you any tighter you'd shatter into a million pieces.

You slowly pull yourself away from him, wiping away any tears that continue to form. You turn and look at Emily, "What um what are you doing here?" you ask her. She looks at Spencer with concern and he just shakes his head.

"Spence texted me last night but I only read it when I woke up this morning," morning? What time is it? How is it morning? "As soon as I saw it, I quickly got dressed and came over here."

"Emily... what time is it?" I ask, hoping to finally put together some form of a timeline.

"It's almost 6:30 am... work is supposed to start in an hour but I can cover for you two if you wanna take the day off." Emily offers and you find yourself grateful for her close connections with Hotch. You look at Spencer, knowing you're taking up Emily's offer but at the same time, you don't want to be alone today.

"Uh that'd be great Emily, thank you," Spencer replies, accepting her offer. Emily turns her attention from Spencer, back to you.

"Are you okay, pretty girl?" Emily asks looking me in the eyes. The way she asks feels so warm and loving. Her voice is soft, but extremely comforting and protecting. You contemplate if you should tell her the truth about how you're really feeling. Every few minutes you remember a new thing you Alex did to you and every time it hits like a train. You start feeling a little bit better and then... it all comes rushing back in one big wave. All the pain and hurt and suffering you blocked out of your memory. Every insult. Every hit. Every kick. Every push. Every throw. It was all coming back... one attack at a time. You don't know at what point you started crying but you were pulled away from your thoughts when Spencer's warm hands were wiping them away.