Drowning Without Water - A Criminal Minds x Reader

Eleven

Returning to work was weird, you could feel everyone staring at you and it felt like they were burning holes in you. You had used almost an entire container of concealer to cover the bruising on your face. As for the rest of your body, black dress pants, a white t-shirt, and a soft, long-sleeved, purple cardigan covered everything up. When you walked through the glass doors, you walked straight to the lounge area, Spence following close behind. One thing was on your mind. Coffee. As you turned the corner, you ran straight into Emily.

"Easy there pretty girl," she laughs, "Nice cardigan, pretty boy's favorite color," she smirks and you feel yourself blush slightly.

"Shut up Em, you really think I'd be trying to impress Spencer right now?" You glare at her. You knew she was joking but you hadn't had coffee, were a tiny bit hungover, and the pain killers hadn't kicked in yet so you were still hurting. Needless to say, you were a bit bitchy. "Sorry, not feeling the best right now."

"It's okay, I get it lovely. I'll leave you be," she softly smiles at you before walking back to her desk. You sigh as you walk over to the coffee maker. There was only enough left for one cup. Damnit. You knew Spence hasn't had any yet either... Ugh... You turn to him.

"You can have it." You say.

"What? No, after everything, you deserve it."

"Spence, do you not realize everything you've done for me? I'm staying at your place for christ's sake. Take the damn coffee. Please." He sighs and grabs his coffee cup from above the maker and starts to make his sugar-filled creation. "I feel really bad for snapping at Em, she didn't deserve that."

"She knows what you're going through Y/N, plus the way she smiled at you, she's not upset," Spencer responds while making his 'coffee'.

"Still doesn't mean I don't feel bad..." you whisper as you look over at Emily. You two make eye contact and smile at each other. 'I'm sorry' you mouth to her.

'It's okay' she mouths back. You get interrupted by Hotch walking into the Bullpen. He notices Spence and you in the break area.

"Y/L/N, Reid, my office." That is all he says before turning and heading up the stairs to his office. You and Spence look at each other for a moment before quickly following Hotch. Was this about Alex? Of course it was. What else could it be about? Stop being such a dumbass Y/N. You think to yourself. As your breath quickens, Spence notices and turns to you before you two enter the office.

"Hey, breathe. You'll be okay. I'm right here next to you. You'll be fine." You take a deep breath before nodding to him and entering Hotch's room.

"Have a seat and close the door." He motions to the two empty chairs in front of his desk. You sit down as Spence closes the door and joins you. Your nerves were causing your leg to bounce, it was your tell. The entire team knew at this point and Hotch definitely noticed. "Do either of you want to tell me why you were both really gone yesterday?" No. You didn't. Hotch knew when you were lying though. Fuckity fuck fuck...

"Um... You all were right. About Alex..." Your leg started to bounce faster and you didn't even notice you were scratching at your arm. Spence quickly noticed though and grabbed your hand to get you to stop. You look at him and he gives you a soft smile. "Things got really bad the night before last with Alex... And um I went to Spencer's place and basically passed out in his arms as soon as he opened the door. I didn't have anything except my keys so I couldn't really go to work yesterday and Spencer didn't want to leave me alone. Derek and Spencer got my stuff from his place last night and I'm staying at Spencer's for the time being... until I can get back on my feet." You decided to leave out Reid punching Alex and you slapping Reid, that might've caused issues.