Dearest Anonymous, Let Me Be

Chapter 2: Let Me Eat!

Being stabbed to death is in no way or any form a pleasurable experience. Heck, even a demon wouldn't want to see its guts spilling out of its body in any possible way.

When Umi finally regained consciousness after an indefinite time, like a fish that got out of the water, she struggled to breathe for a good ten minutes. Clutching her chest, feeling her rapidly beating heart, sweating profusely, and muttering curse words whenever she had the chance, she felt like she just had the worst and horrible nightmare ever.

Except—the worst and horrible nightmare was real. She was indeed stabbed to death by a stalker. There was no way that the pain she felt was just a dream! It all felt too real and intense!

As a celebrity, Umi had several stalkers, creepy and intense stalkers. Some are low key while some had no fear, but all can agree that stalkers are like devils from the depths of hell! Especially the one who killed her with the alarming mindset of 'If I can't have you, then no one else will!'.

Yet, for Umi, if one is to excuse the pain factor, then being stabbed wasn't as traumatizing as she first thought it to be. After all, it wasn't her first time being involved in a similar crime scene.

As much as how she wanted to forget about it, there is this abyss that was contained in the innermost parts of her due to an extremely disturbing childhood.

Mama? Why is there blood on Papa?

Umi, a child born out of an abusive family, whose mother took her own life with the same knife she stabbed her husband with, leaving a little Umi crying inside a bloodied living room before she was admitted to the orphanage.

Mama, I'm scared. Please, talk to me.

At a very young age, Umi witnessed her mother being abused by her father almost like a routine in that household, although clueless as she was still a child, she knew that it was not supposed to be like that. For her, it was a traumatic experience, leaving a scar in her heart, so she never believed in any romance since then.

Why did you leave me?

After that traumatic childhood, Umi knew that deep in her heart was an abyss only waiting to be uncovered. But she hid that darkness very well, as long as she didn't want it to be discovered, then it will simply not be.

"Am I dead?" Umi asked herself with a hoarse voice.

Well, asking a seemingly obvious question might be stupid of her but don't blame her for feeling lost. After all, she had just recently went through some shit.

Damn, that really hurt like hell.

If anything, Umi really and utterly hates the feeling of being in pain. How much more the pain felt of being stabbed!

With a disoriented mind, a pair of unfocused eyes glanced around, trying to assess her current situation. Then she tried to calm herself, as she steadied her breathing while eyeing her surroundings.

"Am I actually in heaven?"

If Umi was to assess herself and the things she had done in her life, how she carried herself and how she treated the people around her, without bias, she thinks of herself as a kind person and a law-abiding citizen. She wasn't a saintess but at least she knew she won't be a murderer at some point. She was not a holy one, but at least she wasn't that abominable. Thus, arriving in heaven after death might not be as ridiculous as it sounds.

Yet, where is the promised paradise? Where are the singing angels? The floating magical islands and the clouds? All she saw were endless rows of bookshelves, filled with colorful books, from left to right, as far as the naked eye can see. The scent of books prickled her nose as she looked up and saw that the bookshelves almost stretched up to an endless height she can't even estimate.