Another life

Realization

Harry's POV

I hurt him, more then anyone ever. I left him when he needed someone. I'm the reason he's like this. I have to fix it. I walk in the classroom. "I didn't know you could sing, did you write that?" I say with a small smile. I see him flinch then look at me eyes cold. "Things change, people change. I picked it up a year or so ago and yeah I wrote that. Maybe if you stuck around you would know" he replies dryly and walked out of the classroom well more so sprinted. I was left with my thoughts and all I could think about was the fact that I did the one thing I promised I wouldn't do, I left him. I ignored him, he had no one. I can't believe I was so stupid. Before I could think about it anymore the bell rang and the teacher and other students came in. "Where's Louis?" The teacher asked looking around the classroom. "He wasn't feeling well so went to the bathroom" I replied trying to save Louis from getting detention I mean it's the least I could do. I didn't get much time to think about how to fix things with Louis because we were singing and doing warm ups the entire class. As soon as it ended I tried to find him. I hear a sob in the bathroom and go to open the door then realized that I need to find Louis not help some random person. I look everywhere but I can't find him. I run into Zayn tho and he tells me we should go to a party on Friday which is tomorrow. I just said yeah because that was the least of my worries.

Louis POV
I ran into the bathroom. I couldn't do it, it's all been to much. I go to grab the blade I keep hidden in my backpack when my phone goes off, It's Jaz.

Jaz: Hey Lou. Can you come over after school we need to talk?

Me: Is everything okay? Do you want me to come now or do you want to tell me now?

Jaz: it'll probably be easier for me to tell you on here right now but I still want you to come over after school.

Me: okay. Shoot Jaz

Jaz: Well you know how my dad is in the military and we move a lot? Well we are moving Lou, we leave Sunday. I don't want to leave, I don't want to leave you but I have to go.

Then it slips, the loud sob. It wasn't until the sob came out that I realized I was crying and I mean crying. Jaz has been my only friend since the incident at my old school. She's my only constant and now she's leaving. I pull my knees to my chest and bawl.

Jaz: Lou are you okay?
Jaz: I'm sorry Lou please respond

Me: sorry Jaz, you know schoolwork. I'm sorry, I don't want you to leave. You have been a great friend and you came at just the right time, I don't know what I would've done without you. I'm heading to your house now.

I didn't care that I still had class, I didn't care about anything anymore. Everyone I've ever cared about has left, am I that worthless? Is there really something wrong with me? I run out of the school. I hear my name being called by that one stupid voice, Harry. I don't have the patience or time for this. I turn around and face him. "Leave me the fuck alone Harry. Clearly I don't want or care about you anymore. Stay out of my life" I yelled and even though I was fuming I wanted to cry because I know I don't mean all those words and no matter how much he put me through part of me still loves him. The look of defeat on his face showed me that I might have finally gotten him off my back, but was that what I really wanted?

I run to my car and don't look back. I speed to Jaz's house. I knock on the door and I'm greeted by a puffy eyed Jaz. I pull her into a hug, a tight hug. We walk up her stairs into her room and she pulls me into a hug again. She sobs and I can't help but cry to, we clutch onto each other and just cry. This is the first time I've shown any emotion as strong as this one (besides to Anne of course). "Lou" she says and her voice cracks. "Yeah Jaz" I reply and try to give her a smile. "I-what if I don't make friends Lou?" She says and looks at me. "Honestly Jaz if you don't make friends at your new school then everyone at your school are a bunch of nut sacks because you are amazing, caring, and one of the best people I've ever met" I say and I truly mean every word. "Thanks Lou" she says and sniffles. "Uh Jaz there is actually something I need to tell you" I say and I can feel myself get more nervous. "Of course Lou, you can tell me anything." She says and I can tell that she means it. " I'm- I'm gay and you know Harry? Well he was my first boyfriend, he's hurt me so much Jaz. Before he hurt me I wasn't anywhere near the person I am now. I'm willing to tell you everything but I need you to promise me you aren't disgusted by me and that I can trust you with this" I say and I already want to cry just thinking about her finding me disgusting. "Oh Lou why didn't you tell me sooner. I love you (in a platonic way of course) I could never be disgusted with you" she says and gives me a hug. "Go ahead Lou tell me everything" she says with a smile. I take a deep breath and start.

   "My mom and Harry's mom have been friends forever and that's how Harry and I became friends, we've known each other since birth. When I was younger my sister died, I told her everything she was the best. A year later my dad killed himself because he felt as if it was his fault my sister was dead. We all took it very roughly but my mom and I took it the hardest. I had Harry though, my best friend and he helped me move forward. Harry and I never acted like normal best friends we were different. I loved him since we were six I just didn't realize it until 8th grade. One day I told him how I felt and he felt the same, I felt as if I was in cloud 9 but there was something missing and when I figured it out I told Harry. I wanted to dress feminine as in skirts, crop tops, bows, "girl" clothes in general, and occasionally makeup, I still want to dress that way at times but I can't. Harry and I felt constant, it felt like we were going to be together forever and I couldn't explain it but at the time I knew he was the one. I was the only person who was able to finally convince him to try out for the X-Factor. I was so happy for him because he had an amazing voice and I wanted him to reach his full potential. I was a tad selfish, I at first wasn't sure about him going because I knew he would do good and I didn't want him to leave me but he promised to never forget about me and to always stay in contact. I got him a promise ring, he loved it and I could tell because his eyes glossed over as if he was going to cry. The first couple days when he was gone I was sad that he hadn't contacted yet but figured he was busy. I never changed the way I dressed and stayed being myself, apparently that wasn't the best idea. There was this guy at my other school who would call me terrible names and say stuff like "I should kill myself like my dad did" or "You're worthless, we can clearly see why everyone leaves you" it hurt and it hurt a lot. I told my mom and she said as soon as the school year was over I could get transferred to our school. The guy that constantly bullied me I talked back a little bit and he decided to break my ribs. I was given some time off of school and I had been thinking on whether or not I should change who I am for the new school. I then saw an article saying Harry and Zayn were dating and it hurt so badly because I knew he was avoiding my text and calls all the while giving someone else his attention. That's when I decided to change and I became the guy you know me as. Seeing him again has brought back insecurities and feelings I've tried so long and hard to keep hidden." I finish and I'm crying but not even a second later I'm comforted by a hug. I lean into Jaz. " I'm so sorry Lou, you didn't deserve that and you know what screw Harry he doesn't deserve you. I wish you would've told me sooner, I would've loved to help you get back to your true self." She finishes and I can tell by her tone she's hurt I didn't tell her sooner. " I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner Jaz" I reply with a small smile. "It's okay. Let's not have a pity party on my last couple days alright?" She says trying to lighten the mood. " Yeah let's go get hot fudge sundae wasted" I reply with a chuckle.

  We finish the rest of the day shoving our mouths with ice cream and watching movies, rom coms to be exact. Truth be told when I was laughing and having fun with Jaz I forgot about how fat all the ice cream would make me, I just ate it and enjoyed myself it was nice. Jaz told me about the party she was throwing tomorrow and I agreed to come early to help her set up. That was the original plan but I told her I would skip school and spend the day with her. She offered me to stay the night and who was I to say no. So now he we are the next day setting up for the party.

💚I think this was the longest chapter I've written for this story. What do you think about Jaz leaving? Also Harry finally came to his senses. What do you think is gonna happen at the party? Anyways have an amazing night or day 💙