UNCONDITIONALLY YOURS

Give me the freedom I long for // 7

We had been walking for around half an hour, when we came to a path created by an opening between two bushes. My house was on the outskirts of the city, and I tended to head southward, toward the city, whenever I left my house. Instead, we walked in the opposite direction, where there was plenty of countryside. Luckily, when I came outside I had my jumper with me although I had taken it off, or I would have been freezing. We had made some sort of small talk during the time we were walking, yet nothing particularly personal. He asked me what my favourite food was, and that sort of thing. Most of the journey had been silent however, not because we did not have anything to say to each other, simply because there was no need. They say actions speak louder than words, I say silences speak even louder. I was confused as we began to head through the gap and onto a path.

"I thought we were going for lunch. We seem to be in the middle of nowhere."

"You are very quick to judge aren't you?" He sniggered and I continued to glare at him, waiting for an answer. "I said I would take you to lunch, not a restaurant."

In one swift movement, Parker shoved a tree branch that had been blocking the path to the side. As we emerged from the other side of the path, I could barely hold my emotions together. We were on a huge rock, with the most breath-taking view imaginable for somewhere so close to a big city. There was a beautiful waterfall before my eyes, the crystal-clear water trickling down the mound of stones and pebbles. Even through the roar of heavy water created as the mound became steeper and plunged into the pool of blue below, there was an undeniable sense of stillness and tranquillity surrounding it.

"What do you think?" He said interrupting my trance.

I was speechless and touched that he brought me there. It had seemed such a special place, a hidden gem amongst the hustle of the nearby city. It was unbelievably scary that already I felt I was opening up and beginning to enjoy the company of someone I had just met. If I had gone this far in getting to know someone it a matter of two days, I could hardly bare to think what I had coming for me. I persuaded myself to snap out of my dream world and to re-enter reality.

"Is this where you take girls to impress them?" It slipped out before I could really consider the effects and consequences of what I was saying. I observed as Parker's cheerful face dropped and he suddenly look intimidatingly serious. I paused. "Gosh, Parker, I am so sorry I didn't mean to..."

"Stop." I was momentarily alarmed by the sternness and lack of emotion in his voice, and it killed me having to wonder what he was going to say next. "Don't worry about it. I can't even imagine what you must think of me from the way the news portrays me. But just so you know, you are one of the only people I have shared this place with. My house is within a couple of minutes from here, I bought it to be as close as possible to this place. My mum first showed it to me when I was young. I have a lot of memories with her here so it's important to me. I don't want to think this is just a place I take girls to."

I felt ill with disgust toward myself. I did not know much about him, but the internet told me enough to know he had lost both of his parents. He had been nothing but kind to me since I met him, but me being me I was only rude to him. I despised that a genuine person wanted to spend time around me. I had no capabilities of bringing anything but misery into people lives as I was unable to trust anyone. The better half of me told me I needed to leave Parker alone so I did not fail him. But I was also selfish, and I did not want to let go of the single day I had with him before I cut all ties.

"I am truly sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't know how to act around people from time to time, I never intended to take it out on you." He was not mad at me, I apologised to try to forgive myself, something I did not come by easily. I sought freedom from the guilt, or I would overthink everything later. He nodded in appreciation of my apology. "It really is beautiful here, Parker. It is crazy that there is a place like this so close the city."