UNCONDITIONALLY YOURS

Silver Car // 48

It was a couple of days since I read the letter. The idiot inside of me didn't respond or do anything about it. 

I could only blame the dark place I was in at the time for my blurred train of thoughts. I didn't know the right ways to deal with pain because I wasn't taught it with the kind of father I had. 

But looking back on things, it was easily enough to say I was becoming the one in the wrong for being so ignorant.

After the letter, Parker left me alone. He wrote in the letter he knew that one day I would find someone who treated me like a queen. I hoped he wasn't counting on it because I could only love him. 

I left the apartment after dressing in some decent clothes for the first time in too long. I needed to refresh myself and think straight. So I made myself look presentable, and I decided I would take a walk around the city.

Although the purpose of my walk had been to clear my mind, it turned out that quite the opposite happened. I thought about the exact same things I had been thinking about since the last time I saw Parker, the change of scenery made no difference. 

I stared blankly at tall buildings and hustles of people as I let my mind randomly navigate around the city.

I began to cross a road shutting out my thoughts, as much as I could make myself at least. I was looking down at my feet, unaware of the world around me. My mind had been struggling more than ever and I thought I had no way out. 

I was so undecided it was like a constant battle in my mind, and it was torturing me. I knew he never intended to hurt me at that point, but part of me was too stubborn and unforgiving.

If he really never cared, I would have already been broken enough for his plan to fall into place, and he knew it. And my father's business would already be damaged enough. So why would he have written that letter? Why would he have slept uncomfortably outside my door that one dreadful night? Why would he have told me he loved me?

But I was too distracted. In that particular moment as I crossed the road I mean. Too oblivious of my surroundings. Too oblivious to even notice Parker standing in front of me. The emotions hit me like a tidal wave. 

Hearing his voice when he was outside my door was one thing but seeing him face to face what on another incomparable level. I wished nothing had ever come between us so that I could run up to him and be in his arms. I wished he could hug me the way he used to.

In those fractions of a second I thought about talking to him right there. Maybe seeing him there that day was how it was meant to be. 

Maybe it was the right time to rekindle what me once had, because I was living in misery and he was the only way out of that. Why torture the both of us when I could just let go and be happy.

But something was wrong. And this time it was not some stupid feeling inside of me that was the problem, it was the expression imprinted on Parker's face.

 Shock, fear, even dread glinted in his stunning emerald eyes. He looked utterly horror stricken, his entire body tense and frozen. It only took another second for me to realise why.

 As I glanced to my right looking away from Parker's face, there was a silver car speeding towards at lightning pace.

Suddenly, everything was in slow motion. My feet felt chained to the floor in shock and horror, I did not have nearly enough time to process my situation and run.

 It was a fight or flight kind of feeling, except there was no option to fight and my body was still processing my instincts. I went to momentarily glance back at Parker's face, but he was not when he was before.

The silver car was so close to my body, I could almost feel the impact of it hitting me which I was moments away from experiencing.

 As I stood hopelessly enveloped in terror, I felt a strong thrust of impact that launched me forward. I flew across and I rolled across the gravel floor. I winced in pain and my skin scraped against the rough ground. I could feel cuts and bruises form over my entire body. 

But nothing that was too bad. My mind had still been processing it, but then I realise the impact had not come from the side the car was approaching me. 

I ignored my pains, and quickly sat up as a scene from my worst of nightmares presented itself in front of me.

I was not in front of the car, I was not in the place I should have been in. I wasn't the one lying motionless and unconscious. 

It was Parker. 

My heart dropped to my stomach. He had run into the road and shoved me out of the way. Parker saved my life. But I didn't want that, I would have taken his place if I had the choice. I would have far rather it be me that was hit by the car. 

That time I didn't freeze. I didn't need time to process it. I completely blanked out the pain I was in from my body and head hitting the ground, and I got straight up and ran over to him. 

I leapt onto the floor beside him, the tears that had been welling up in the eyes burst out freely. As I knelt beside him in a frenzy of guilt and pain, I reach out my trembling hands toward him. I lifted his head off of the hard concrete and pillowed it with my hands.

"Somebody, call an ambulance!" I screamed hysterically looking up at the crowd that had gathered around the scene. My bottom lip was trembling uncontrollably. 

"Now! Please, dammit, pick up your phone someone!" I cried. 

I noticed someone dialling on their phone, so I looked back down to Parker. I whispered to him between sobs my words barely coming out.

"Please don't leave me, Parker. Stay with me. Please, just hold on. Someone is calling for help. I need you, I can't do this without you, don't leave me. I'm begging you. I'm so, so sorry Parker. I love you. I love you, Parker." 

I wept. I removed one hand but still kept his head pillowed with the other. I cupped his bruised hand into my own and tried to stop my hand from shaking. I gently squeezed his hand. I didn't care about anything else anymore, I didn't even think about it for a moment. I just wanted him to wake up and be okay. I leant over him. 

"I love you so much, stay with me."

:')

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