The White Wolf's New Life

The White Wolf and Grief pt. 1

I know everyone is watching WandaVision, I am too. Is it weird that I am posting a grieving chapter on this day? Maybe. But I need to get this out here so I can clean up my files. Also if anyone has experienced a passing before reading this, I am sorry and you don't have to read this if you don't want to.

Grief was a complex emotion that not a lot of people understood, but it was also the worst one to deal with. The feeling of losing someone hits people differently and everyone dealt with it differently. Some people cried for days on end, others pushed people away and some people get angry. Some people just don't show emotion at all. And that was okay, people dealt with it differently.

Steve remembered when he lost his mom, he cried to himself for days and rejected any help from anybody that offered. Even Bucky. But Bucky understood that he needed time and he promised him that he'll be there when he needed him.

When Steve lost Bucky, he had no one to grieve to. He drank his grief away. He remembered when Peggy came to tell him it wasn't his fault but that didn't do any good, if anything it fueled his rage.

Steve thought he gained better control of his emotions ever since he got Bucky back but he quickly realized that he might not have had as much control as he thought. Bucky could barely understand and control his own emotions. When he got angry, he was angry times a thousand. When he was sad, he was sad times a thousand. As time went on, Steve began to realize he got sad more easily, he got angry more easily. When he talked to his therapist about it, she told him that children tend to have an affect on their parents' emotions because while they are trying to figure out theirs, they look up to their parents to figure out how to deal with it. If they don't see the emotion often, they didn't know to control it without being told to.

Steve didn't really understand that but all he could do was talk Bucky through it.

Today, Steve just didn't feel right. He wasn't sure why but he just didn't feel right. Maybe if he got out of the house for a few hours, his mind will clear up. Question was, where? With Bucky along, he couldn't just drive aimlessly. That was a recipe for a tantrum. Then he had an idea. He could visit someone he's meant to visit since Shield collapsed. Peggy.

That would be nice and it would be a chance for James to see her.

Steve nodded to himself, that would be a good idea. He got up from his bed and went in Bucky's bedroom, he wasn't in his bed so Steve assumed he was in his sensory room. He opened the door, Bucky wasn't here either. He was about to call for him then he heard water dripping. He opened Bucky's bathroom door and saw that he was sitting in the tub, fully clothed, turning the faucet again.

"Having fun?" Steve asked. Bucky nodded. "Okay, I want to get out for a while. Can we go visit someone?"

"Mommy?"

"Mommy is out looking for something. This person is someone one of you recognize." Steve smiled. Bucky tilted his head. Steve helped him out the tub then got him changed. Steve packed his bookbag full of snacks, last time he didn't have any snacks for Bucky he threw a fit. That did not need to happen again.

Once he had everything packed and ready, they got in the truck and went on their way to Washington.

Bucky ended up taking a nap on the way to Washington, which was fine. Steve needed a little peace and quiet before they got to the nursing home. Once they arrived, Bucky was being a bit rude, as in growling at the elderly. So they sat outside for a while until he relaxed. Bucky relaxed after a few minutes then they went inside.

"Hello, how may I help you?" An older but not yet elderly woman said.

"May we see Peggy Carter?"